my fu*ked up life

what to do now ?

after that I went back down, because that was probably the best thing I could do since "day time" you know ... , I just went to sit there. I thought a lot about my life. It's all gone now. what am I supposed to do. How am I supposed to tell my boyfriend that I'm a vampire and all this.
Will he leave me? Will he even believe it? I even killed a human, and now I'm starting to feel hungry again. God damnit it's not even that long since I ...  I  I'm ... I'm such a monster. It will be better If I ended it all. I went back up. I looked at that door, but then I turned around and started crying. Fuck I don't even have the guts to do it. I'm still 17 what am I thinking. I passed out. When I woked up it was already dark outside. I slowly opened the door and walked out. I looked around. Well that didn't help me cause I have no fucking idea where am I. I started checking my pockets to find my phone with no success. Great, just great. I should be lucky that I still have my wallet. I started walking some direction. It's really not a crowdy location. I don't really know If it's because of the time but I haven't saw a soul since I went out of that building. There are just few houses and they all seem abandoned. I walked by the road and I saw a bus stop. When I got there I read the sign and found out I'm still in the same city where I live. there is a map so now I at least know which direction to go, so I went by the road. After 20 minutes of walking my stomach growled. Oh god what am I supposed to do now. I don't want to kill anyone else. There is no one around. This is bad.After some time I starter recognize the buildings. But I was still to far away from home. I noticed some lights. It was a small grocery store. I was there once, but that is a long time ago. I putted a hood on and walked in. the saleswoman just looked at me slightly and then her eyes went back to her phone. I grabbed some protein bar, but I somehow knew that It won't end up good. If I learned something from the vampire films then it's that they can't eat human food. Then why am I even trying you ask? It's my last hope since I'm starving and there is still a little chance that its a myth. The thing with the cross is not true, so I still have a hope. I payed for it and walked out from the store. I opened it and smelled it. It smells normal that is a good sign. I took a bite. Ok it tastes awful. Who knows maybe it's just the protein bar that tastes weird, I never had this one before so how should I know. I swallowed it. That was not a good idea. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I vomited on the ground. Now I feel like some guy who drank too much. Fine then human food won't work. And after this I have no intention of trying it again. Ok then I have no choice since my stomach hurts from hunger. I went back to that store, I ran to the saleswoman and almost screamed at her „please I need help there is some man behind the store and he is bleeding” She didn't even ask questions pulled the first aid kit from somewhere behind the desk and looked at me. I took her arm and ran behind the store with her. She said something like „wait there is no one here“ In that moment I smacked her neck from behind  and the next second she was lying on the ground. I was lucky that no one else is up at this time. for her it was unlucky. I kneeled down and whispered „please forgive me“ she probably didn't hear me anyway. Then I bit her neck.My fangs quickly pierced her neck and the blood slowly started to fill my mouth. When you drink blood it feels like everything else isn't important. All stress is relieved from your body. You just can't get enough. but then I started to think about what will happen when I get home. About my boyfriend's reaction. and what am I gonna do about the next meal if I can even call it that. I pulled off. She was still breathing. I took the first aid kit she brought and treated her neck. then I took her and brought her back to the store. I can just hope that she won't remember my face.