sᴛᴜᴄᴋ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀᴅ - ᴀʟʙᴇʀᴛ/ғʟᴀᴍɪɴɢo

08 - wanna ft?

TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE, ABUSE, DEPRESSION ECT

★

cora's pov:

flashback
"YOU'RE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" my mother finished yelling at me for the past 20 minutes. My face was stained with tears, they were still falling from my eyes. She stormed off into the bathroom and I walked in my room and locked my door, I grabbed my secret box of morphine and poured it out and took all of it and swallowed hard. I sat down on my floor and cried until I felt dizzy and passed out.

I woke up, dizzy, nauseous, and defeated. I lost again, i've tried so many times why wont it just work? everyone I wake up its just deja vu, instead of the light at the end of the tunnel. My room was just as I left it, leave it to my mom to yell at me not care. she used to pretend to care, make up a fake apology so I would think she was a good mom, but now she didn't care, now she's resulted to telling me horror story's about foster care, even though my dad could just get custody of me, which I hope happens someday, until then i'm stuck on the floor crying again, I feel empty, but I also feel like emotions are hitting my like a truck, I can't choose.

end of flashback

I can't sit here thinking about the past, i'm better now, there's no reason.

yet here I am.

why am I even crying?

I questioned myself.

Im crying because if my attempts worked, my life wouldn't be here.

I wouldn't have made my childhood dream come true.

I wouldn't have proven to little me that me and Sophie's friendship stayed amazing as ever.

I wouldn't have proven to little me that me and Izzy's arguments didn't ruin our friendship, just made it stronger.

I wouldn't have proven little me that someone could actually love me, even though sometimes I still doubt that.

I wouldn't have met Albert.

Albert.

'ding'

I thought my phone was on silent? guess not.

I picked it up and it was a notification from 'I Am Sober' for those daily pledge things.

7 years, 12 months, 25 days, 8 hours, 45 minutes, 34 seconds.

it's been that long the last time I cut myself.

I did the dumb pledge thing and got a text from Albert.

Albert🦩🤠

Albert🦩🤠
wanna ft?

me
sure

*incoming facetime video from 'Albert🦩🤠'*

I pressed the green button and Alberts face appeared on the screen and I couldn't help but smile.

"you're cute when you blush" he says, it was kinda like some inside joke.