It's Always Been You

chapter twenty-five

Chase

I'm still such a fucking coward.

The meeting I had two days ago changed my life before I could even realize it.

Riley has been offered a job here, within Armitage Designs, and me, well I was offered another project that wasn't in England.

For two days I've thought of all the possible outcomes and I have no idea which one will fucking be the one that plays out.

And now, now that I've finally told Riley about the offer I can see it in her face, she thinks I'm leaving her again.

"How long for?" She wipes the tears on her face with the back of her hand.

"There isn't an end date yet." She nods. Wiping her eyes again, a now constant flow of tears streaming down her beautiful face.

"When did you find out about this?"

"Two days ago. It was the meeting I had after you got your job offer."

"Are you serious? You have known about this for two fucking days Chase and you haven't told me!" She snaps at me.

"I did try! I tried to tell you when you came over the other night, but you were so happy and excited and-"

"And I let you fuck me all night. While you were keeping this from me and who knows what else!" She angrily crosses her arms while glaring at me.

"I'm not keeping anything from you Riley." I say as calm as possible, I don't want this to turn into a sour argument. "I just didn't know how to tell you, I kept thinking how to bring it up and-"

"And what? Think of another way to leave me again? Because you can't blame it on my brother now Chase, he knows we are together and he's ok with it."

"Riley, I'm not fucking leaving you. Even if I take the job, I'm not breaking up with you. I love you."

I see my words hit her as her brows furrow with confusion.

"I told them I would think about." I close the gap between us, my eyes flicking between hers as fresh tears build up again.

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to discuss it with you first. You mean everything to me and if I take this job, I don't know how long I'll be gone. I expect one to two years minimum, and I want to know how you would feel about that."

Her hands push through her shoulder length waves as she inhales deeply. Standing with her hands now resting on her hips she shakes her head at me.

"I can't do it Chase. You need to take the job, of course you should, but I can't be with you." Her voice cracks as she speaks and my heart breaks.

"Baby please, please let's just talk about this. Let's sit and discuss this." My hands reach for her neck as more hot tears run down her pink cheeks.

"You need to take the job Chase-"

"Not if that means losing you." I cut her off.

I want her to see how much this is hurting me, how much I love her and how much I want us.

"I don't want the job if that means losing us-"

"I can't do long distance Chase. I know I trust you, but it would be too hard." Her hands find mine as she pulls them down, away from her face.

"So what are you saying Riley? I take the job and we are over. I'm not doing that." My voice stern as I shake my head, refusing to let her do this.

"You can't not take it because of me. You will regret it and I don't want to be the reason you don't go." She sniffles, hugging her arms around herself.