Betwixt and Between

Prologue~

Have you ever put up a front?

Not like a front door, but I guess that can be hard too. I mean a front, a fake. When you pretend to be something- no someone, that you're not. When you lie to everyone around you. When you're acting all day, everyday, of your life. When you even risk your old relationships and friendships for the new. All of this, just for someone.

Who did I do it for? I wish I knew. Sometimes I think that maybe, just maybe, I did it for them. I hope that deep down, I did it for them. My classmates, my friends, the "It" girls, him. In reality, it's obvious I didn't. Ask anyone, I'm positive they'll tell you that one day quiet, little Raina turned into the loudest, most outgoing girl in the school. They'll tell you that little Raina became "popular," whatever they think that means. They'll tell you she got the guy, then dumped him for the fun. They think they know the truth; they think they know what I was thinking when I did that. They have no clue.

Truthfully, I think I did it for me. I was tired of being forgotten. Tired of being called "loser" and "nerd." My few friends told me to ignore it, but I couldn't. People say they know how it feels, but do they? Do they really know how it feels to be ignored, to be teased, to be alone?

And look where that got me. Here I am, lying in this field. This lush field of flowers, in a seemingly endless area. With the light aqua sky, and the wind running through everything, making it all sway. It all seems so peaceful, so quiet, so... me. How I was before I changed. Quiet, and I've always been called beautiful, but I never believed anyone. It might even seem perfect, if I knew where I was. I woke up here, abandoned and alone. Lying in a pretty bohemian dress, with my hair fanned out around me.

How did I get here? Why am I wearing this? Am I dead? I must be. I have to be. Why else would I be here? Oh, god. I'm dead. This must be my heaven. Of course, my heaven is everything I would imagine, but alone.

Or so I thought. Suddenly there was a figure walking towards me. As they got closer I knew this was the end. This was the end to my life, just as it was beginning to fall into place. This was the end, and I was alone, alone in this beautiful field in the middle of nowhere. The figure reached me and, against my thoughts, it was a boy. A boy, no older than me, yet I couldn't make out his face yet. Everything was blurry. As he leaned down closer to me I realized. This wasn't the end. This was far from it. This was the end to my old life, my life that consisted of high school and boys, my life that was fake.

This was also the beginning. This was the beginning here, wherever "here" is. This was my chance. I could start new! No one would have to know. I could start over, I could start now. Here I didn't have to be fake, but I could be known, I could be heard. That was when I finally saw the boy's face.

I was wrong again. This wasn't the end of anything. Or the beginning. This wasn't either of them, this was the middle. And I was stuck in it.

"Hello Raina," said the boy, and I was knocked out once again.