When you die

You said it twice

   Y'know you just switch with me and I can kill you right now like I did before. Sukana hissed.

'Shut up. If I let you kill me you'lol just take my body and god knows what you'd do with it if that happened. No. If I die it's gonna be by my own hands not by yours. That way you can't take it'

"Yuji?"

"Huh. Yeah. What is it?" I said shocked back into reality.

"Arnt you gonna eat?" Megumi asked pushing the bowl closer.

"Oh yes ofcorce." I said before beginning to eat breakfast.

It has been a month Sence the attempt and I've been "doing better" by the standards of I haven't harmed myself, that they know of, and I've been eating. My mind is still clouded with thoughts of how to end my pain.

I could feel a pair of eyes gazing up and down.

"What?" I said after swallowing the bite I had taken.

"Nothing you just seem to have something on your mind." He said.

"So do you" I snapped back before putting another scoop of cereal in my mouth.

"What is that supposed to mean?!" He said.

I could hear how offended he was in his tone.

"It means, mind your own business." I said not bothering to look up from my cereal.

I hear a sigh and then silence for a bit. It was quite peaceful until-

"Yuji what is that?" Megumi asked, pointing out a small blood Stain forming at the cuff of my hoodie.

"What." I said in a monotone voice not bothering to care until he grabbed my arm.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow." I yelled as he twisted it to the wrist side up and rolled down the sleeves.

"Yuji! I thought you stoped this." He said voice filled with pure sadness.

"Well I-I" I started.

"Well I guess it was stupid of me to believe things would just go back with no relapses." He said clearly to himself but loud enough that I could hear.

I felt guilt pend up inside me. "Megumi I'm sorry." I begun.

"It's fine it was bound to happen." He said.

It was bound to happen? What dose that mean. "What did you use to do this." He said pointing at my arm but looking me in the eyes.

I looked down is shame.

"Yuji please tell me..." he pleed

"I took it from the pencil sharpener." I spoke.

"W-what Yuji?! That could have led on it?!" He yelled frantically. "Did you clean it."

"Well no but-" he cut me off by grabbing my other wrist and dragging me up and into the nearest bathroom.

He forced me down on the toilet top and begun to rummage for the first aid. The minute he found it he shot up and flipped my wrist over to see 7 fresh cuts.

Without a word he begun to use a wet towel to wipe the excess blood off before applying disinfectant and wrapping my wounds in gauze.

He then sighed in exhaustion.

"Don't fucking scare me like that idiot!" He said curtly but with a twinge of concern.

He stood up and huffed.

"Where is the blade now?" He asked in a monotone voice.

I said nothing and just dug into my pocket, handing him the blade when I found it. witch he took grascisly and pocketed it.

I stood up to leave until he grabbed my shoulder.

"Anyone in your situation would give in." He spoke.

I just gave him a confused look.

"Sukana is feeding you lies. Hearing that every waking moment would be exhausting for anyone. The immense will power it would take to not give in is something most dont have from the start, but as time continues they gain that ability. Yuji you need to stop doing what he says. You giving into him is showing him that he has control over you."

Don't listen to him kid. He just feels guilty cuz your his friend.

I ignored sukana and continued to listen to megumi.

"He's weakening your mind for a reason. You know this. I know your hurting but this can't continue. You need to show that monster who is in charge of your body." He finished.

I looked at him with more hope in my eyes than I had in a long time. I was then pulled into a hug.

"Please don't let me lose anyone else." I traded up hearing him say that.

"I won't."