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iFauxpologize

In my brother apartment he asked us over for something which he didn't tell us

"Hey, Spence, are we supposed to be doing something while you talk to that corner?"

"Sorry, I just gotta get this speech right. You guys are my last rehearsal before my dress rehearsal before my final dress rehearsal before my opening. But yeah, help yourself to the sumptuous feast I painstakingly prepared."

"You put out old takeout boxes from last week."

"And you didn't even put out silverware."

"Okay, before I reveal the centerpiece of my upcoming exhibition, I'd like to recite a short poem."

"What is this, a TED Talk? I'm just joking. I know it's not. Ted was a friend of the family."

'What is a feeling? How does one define a rainbow? If a bamboo breaks..."

"Oh, sorry, Spencer. Hold on. I love this squirrel getting a manicure meme. It says so much without saying anything."

"Mm. I'm saying something."

"I used to find that funny, but now I follow a number of squirrel accounts that found the nail polish color highly problematic."

"Okay, let's give Spencer the attention he deserves."

'Thank you. Harper, would you do me the honor of capturing the unveiling to show my future children, Banksy and Basquiat? I'm assuming they'll be artists, but if not, they'll be very cool accountants. May I present... "Soliloquies In Time".

"Ugh."

"This needs to be in the Guggenheim."

"But not in the bathroom this time! Fool me once."

"No, not your sculpture. This pic I just took of Carly spitting out your nasty leftover meatballs. You have to post this. I'm PearDropping it now."

'Oh, my God. How should I caption it? "When your leftovers should have just been left". You guys get it? 'Cause, like, left and left."

"At least you're pretty." I agreed with Millicent on that. In the iCarly studio

"Did you know that Manicure Squirrel does nail art tutorials now? I know I'm supposed to be editing, but want to watch every single one of them?"

"That squirrel's an anti-vaxxer."

"Damn it."

"Carly, you're number one!"

"And Harper, you're great too!"

"Yes. But the photo that you posted, you're number one on IMemeDb!"

"Screw you, baby confused by Pop Rocks!"

"Ooh, that baby gonna be mad!"

"Ay!"

"Interesting."

"Carly, you need to capitalize on this moment. Re-share some of the funniest meatball face memes. You'll drive a ton of traffic to your channel."

"But do I want to use this to drive traffic? It's not my favorite look."

"Doesn't matter! All publicity is good publicity. 'Cause when people like your face, they'll be all like, "How can I see more of that face?" And that's where the merch comes in."

"Wait, merch? I don't know. I just relaunched, and it still feels new. Like a fawn trying its little legs out. Maybe I should just wait a b*at and see how things shake out."

"You don't have a b*at, Bambi. You're hot now. Tomorrow, someone's gonna eat a moldy cannoli and go like... And then you'll be the next baby with Pop Rocks."