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• 愛 •
A boy who regrets being born _____________
JUNGKOOK—田柾國 •
I fell in love with quotes at a very young age.I guess it fascinated me that someone was able to unknowingly expressing my thoughts when I'm at a loss for words.It had me wasting hours thinking that our minds must have soulmates too.
Whenever my mom said that she's done so much for me , the first thought that comes to my mind is 'I've never asked to be born.'
Cause this is true. No kid has ever asked to be born.It was the parents choice , not the kid's fault.But people just never seem to understand that.
When you're having a child , it was your choice to bear responsibility and you don't get a say on how the child is a problem.Didn't you want a child ? Now take care of it.
For years my mother has always said, "What will the people say!" And this sentence has killed more dreams than anything else in the world.
I wonder how many people have asked you that question, just like they rubbed it on my face.
When I was a kid , I had a room of my own but my mother was always quick to point out that it wasn't my room, it was her room and that I was just permitted to occupy it.
Her point was that , my parents had earned everything and I was just borrowing the space and even though this is true , I can't help but feel like that my existence as a child was a kind of debt and nothing, however how small was mine.
That no space was truly private and just about anything of mine could be forfeited at someone else's whim.
What a mother does for you out of obligation is different from what a mother does for you because she wants to.
Did you raise me because you wanted to or did you raise me because you had to , because I was in your home and you thought I have to put food in every mouth under this roof.
Did you look at me with love or did you simply just look at me.
Did you ever look at me ? Did you ever see me ? Did you want to ? Do you still want to ?
If I ever asked you to love me would you laugh ? Would you ask me why ?
Would you ask ask me not to ask such stupid questions?
Would you go to bed and wonder to yourself, why does he think I don't love him ?
I've done everything for him , I've bathed him , I've clothes him , I've feed him and I've kept a roof on top of his head. Isn't that love ?
Do you even know what love looks like ?
Did your mother love you?
Can you tell me how it looked like?
It's strange to grow up in a family where you know you're loved but you don't feel loved.
