Learningblocks oneshots!

A lesbian's lament (12x15)

⚠️Tw: past emotional abuse⚠️

Ok so you can read this as whatever au you want but it makes the most sense as human so-

Also autistic Fifteen who has some major issues to work through my beloved-

EDIT: this has been rewritten!!! I added a lot more and polished it up to confey the messages better.

This one shot was inspired by the song Icicles by The Scary Jokes btw!!!

Twelve was the world to fifteen.

And it was tearing her apart.

Fifteen had what many would call a strict schedule. She'd wake up at exactly 6:00, get ready and leave to walk to MI-15 at 7:15. On the way there, she'd stop to give attention to the stray cats that inhabited the roads. She loved those cats, to be honest. Everyone thinks that they all act the same and that they don't have feelings, but they don't act the same and they do have complex emotions. Each one is unique, and full of emotion, and alive. Fifteen found that beautiful. Also they're soft. Like, REALLY soft. That was important too.

Before she knows it, Fifteen arrives at the MI-15 building at 7:40 and unarms the security systems. Despite how fond of the cats she is, Fifteen has to leave them at the door, because Seventeen is allergic to them. A real shame, She thinks he'd like cats a lot. Especially her cats. She doesn't know why she calls them her cats. They are strays, no one owns them. But it just feels right?

The day continues as normal. Fifteen overviews cases, checks up on everyone, the usual. Despite loving her job, a lot of people would have bored of these repetitive habits long ago. But to Fifteen, they were familiar and comfortable. Routine was safety.

This comfortable, predictable routine when Twelve started giving Fifteen all of these strange emotions?

Gone.

Well, not in a "real" sense, anyways. She still got up and got ready. Walked with her cats. Worked her cases at MI-15. But something felt heavier about it. This lingering feeling of yearning following her wherever she goes. It felt like something was missing, tugging at her mind every second of the day.

When she thought about Twelve, this longing went away, at least at first. How Her beautiful eyes, despite piercing into your soul, felt so welcoming and friendly. How breathtakingly gorgeous she looked in the moonlight of the ray canyon. How even though her voice was strong and steady, it was quiet, not loud like a lot of the other's, and it never hurt Fifteen's ears. Instead, it soothed her, making her feel safe and content. Her face, her laugh, her everything.

And then, the longing gets worse.

————————————————————————————————————————

Twelve was the world to fifteen.

And she had no idea why.

Fifteen would often think. It was a bad habit of Hers, but she couldn't help it. Sometimes she would think about MI-15, and how odd her job truly seemed. Sometimes she would think about her friends, and how she was never good at "friend" things like they were but they somehow still liked her anyways. Sometimes she would think about her family, and how she'd immediately regret it afterwards.

All the confusion and silentness and cold. The cold was the worst, piercing her heart and chilling it to its core. They were all so cold, emotions were never talked about or addressed or anything like how they were supposed to work. It hurt. It hurt so, so bad. Fifteen had so many emotions but they were different and weird and wrong. She was different, they'd say, a girl like her couldn't, or at least wasn't meant to, feel. But she could feel, she did feel! They were wrong. But it's not like she was able to talk to or correct them because all adults think they're right all the time and won't take no for an answer. She was apparently meant to be a serviceable, presentable machine. So eventually, she became just that. She acted cold too, shoving aside those emotions, lest they be her downfall. The cold was normal. The cold was safe.