Dj+Gabs

I

Almost everyone I know has a fear. It could go from being scared of clowns or being scared of spiders. I believed I didn't have a fear but now I think I found it.

Failure

I know that's sounds dumb like what dumbass is scared of failure. Me, I'm the dumbass. Growing up in a Mexican-Household is very difficult. My parents didn't have the same opportunities as other people in America. Both my Mami and Papi immigrated from Mexico when they were only kids. They were taught how to work and how to support them and their family very young. They worked so hard to build a life for me here in the United States. They sacrificed their life to make my dreams come true. I owe it all to my parents. This is why I'm scared of failure. I want to show my parents that their hardwork paid off. I want to accomplish my dreams so they can feel proud of themselves. I want to make my dreams come true even though my parents couldn't accomplish theirs.

It's the truth really. Other than that im the bravest bitch of the century.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING LADY" an annoying ass voice yells shaking away my thoughts. I stumble backwards and drop my purse on the concrete. At least I didn't get ran over. This car traffic is crazy. You gotta love new york city. I quickly pick up the contents that fell out of my bag before some lunatic steals my shit and run across the busy street.

Im so fudging pissed of right now. I could've died right there on the floor because some taxi guy ran me over.

I'm on my way for a casting for an organic clothes company. i really hope i get this job. fingers crossed.

Im really hungry. Im craving a cinnamon roll with a large smoothie. I should have made a smoothie to-go. I make smoothies daily but some casting director decided to make the casting at the ass crack of dawn. I'm a morning person by all means but last night I decided to stay up shopping on amazon. My bank account is crying because i ordered so much unnecessary shit last night. I need to take a money management class.

I come to a stop at my favorite smoothie place. As soon as I open the door I can hear blenders at work and yoga-moms yelling at the cashiers. Home.

I order my smoothie, strawberry duh, and two cinnamon rolls. I'll save one for later.

I spot an empty table table and take a seat. I pull a notebook out my bag and write down to-do at the top. First, go to casting. Second, come home and clean my shit-hole, Third- water my plants, Fourth, call mami and papi, Fifth, Make dinner and clean up after yourself lazy hog, Sixth, do laundry, Seventh, whatevaaaaa u want.

I never use this notebook in my bag, I bought it off of amazon because the cover was cute and that's about it. It had no purpose until today because I was feeling productive, duhh.

"Strawberry smoothie and two cinnamon rolls for Gabriel" the worker calls. Gabriel? Eh. close enough. I get up from my table and walk to the front counter as less embarrassing as I can. Oh! another thing to add to my to-do list: stop acting like everything is embarrassing. I tend to do that a lot.

I grab my smoothie and my cinnamon rolls and sit my happy ass down again. The smoothie taste like blender. I don't know how my smoothie tastes like blender it just does. I can make it better. I check my phone only to see that I have about 30 minutes until my casting. Shiiiit.

Let's not be late to another casting again. I pick up my things and practically run out the door.

The directions on my phone say it'll take 12 minutes walking to get to the studio. Not if I use my super-duper long legs.

I'm about 3 minutes away from the studio when I see a homeless person on the sidewalk with a sign asking for money. My mami always says, "Nadie se ha vuelto pobre por dar." No one has ever turned poor from giving. I always try and remember that.

"Hi, I don't have money sir but I have an extra cinnamon roll, Would you like it?" I give him my best smile so I don't seem creepy.

That smile turns upside down when he grabs the cinnamon roll and squishes it in his hand. I was really looking forward to eating that damn thing.

"I don't want your leftovers, I want your money bitch." the homeless man says.

"Um, first of all rude, and Second of all, have a nice day." I say. I should've said something better but my mami always told me to be nice to my elders instead, I turn and walk away.

Dammit, I was feeling generous today. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

Oh well, I still have a casting to look forward to. I take in a deep breath.

"Lets do this." I say mentally before opening the door and walking in like I own the place.

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