An Obscure Lyric

Chapter 4: Joy

Paul would often enjoy replaying that day with Linda in his memory. When he recalled how hot and worked up they both had been, he would inevitably pop a stiffy, his body just as eager for her as always. The memory also pulled at his heart. It was the blessed time in his life when he was first falling so deeply in love. 

As their love grew, Pau had discovered more ways Linda was special. 

He noticed that she tended to prefer action over words. She showed how she felt about him. Paul had always had a way with words; helping others trust him and bringing them around to his point of view. With Linda, Paul found that his actions meant the most to her. Without meaning to, she taught him to be more mindful of what his actions said to others around him. They vocalized their love for each other of course, in and out of the bedroom, but Linda made sure he could see her love too. 

When Linda did express her thoughts through words, Paul learned that he could count on her to be straightforward, even blunt.

Linda made a point to praise Paul for the things he actually put effort toward, instead of the things that came more naturally to him. He could feel his heart puff up with pride when she'd compliment something Paul had needed to work at learning, whether it was monitoring the ewes during lambing season or patching the roof. 

Loads of people had told Paul he was splendid at one thing or another over the years, but it meant so much coming from Linda because he knew she meant it absolutely honestly. She was truthful with him beyond anything he'd experienced before. The way she'd praise his lovemaking prowess made him feel like a man through and through.

While she was endlessly giving, another thing Paul loved about Linda was that she never sacrificed her own pleasure for his. She wouldn't shut down ideas. But when a certain position or sexual act ended up being a turn off to her, she'd just tell Paul matter of factly, which he appreciated. Thankfully they were well matched in their desires and were on the same wavelength when it came to matters of arousal. So in the end neither of them had to feel like they were missing out because their partner didn't enjoy something.

Over the years Linda and Paul grew together, truly knowing one another. In bed they wanted to make each other feel good out of genuine love. They weren't driven by a selfish desire to make themselves appear more skilled at lovemaking (Paul admitted to himself that he'd been motivated by that before). They weren't pleasuring each other as a means to increase their own excitement (again Paul recognized that tendency in his past self). What they shared was real love, something Paul hadn't realised he needed so badly. Nothing in Paul's previous life had been anywhere near as fulfilling. 

As the years passed, Paul had grown older and the world continued to change around him. His love for Linda hadn't diminished. They'd had their little disagreements as any people living so near to each other would, but the truth was, Paul was still waiting for marriage to become difficult. He'd been warned that it took hard work to make a marriage last. From his point of view they spent much more time together playing than working. It was pure joy being Linda's husband, most of the time. With some time to breathe, they could bring each other to laugh about the bumpy patches for the most part.

He found himself musing over their relationship and marveling at how much he loved her while he worked out a new song in the studio. That was commonplace enough.

He had been working on putting together a completely modern pop song for about a week. He'd already gotten some melody to start with on his acoustic. He fit the chords together in the order they sounded like they were supposed to belong. Paul was excited to play around with some of the newer synthesizer drum machine sounds and recording equipment. He explored happily along, layering in sounds and keeping the ones that pleased his ear. Instead of playing bass himself he was going to make a synthesizer bass track too. Paul was up for novelty anytime.

As usual he didn't have lyrics at this point in the songwriting process, but he certainly had gotten a mood established. His thoughts of Linda brought him there. This song was all sunshine, a joyful little romp. The buoyancy he was capturing reminded him somewhat of "Coming Up" or looking further back in time, "With a Little Luck." He thought this one was turning out to be a hopeful love song too, full of playful optimism. 

Finally Paul felt he'd gotten enough of the song down for the day. He'd start adding the lyrics to it soon. He worked through a few of his other new songs before calling it quits and heading home.

That evening Paul was turning over some different ideas for lyrics to his playful song, not exactly intending to keep working at home but doing so regardless. He considered using his recent reflections on how superior his life was now compared to his promiscuous days. He always delighted in crafting new ways to paint his love for Linda with words.

This song could get it off his chest. Sometimes when he wished he could say a thing, he'd sing about it in a way no one would understand. Then he'd let it go. 

Seeing as he wasn't at work, Paul decided to cut himself off there and devote his attention to his family. He wrote a quick note to keep track of his thoughts and resolved to put them aside until tomorrow's studio session. He chatted with Linda while she stirred chopped herbs into potato soup. He inquired about her day. As they talked, Paul helped tidy up the kitchen and set the table. Their children were watching a program together in the next room, which meant they had finished their homework. He enjoyed hearing their laughter. The rest of the evening passed as typically as it had started.

Paul loved his life in the spotlight but he craved an unremarkable domestic life as well. He wasn't willing to compromise on either point. At home he needed to live as a normal man.