0:43- Matilda
How long has it been?
I sigh as I sit on the airport bench feeling nervous as I look around me.
People hugging relatives, people excited to go on a vacation, other people looking busy seeming they're here for business, and me regretting leaving Shanghai to come back home.
I only came back for my parents who were worried that I already spent enough time away from them, but... it honestly felt like I needed more than what I had.
I met amazing friends, learned more about my culture and people, learned more about my interest and and... and about myself as my own person. Where I wasn't just ladybug that was always getting attacked by hawkmoth, or the person that always had to push her real life away, her real-life problems to put on this superhero act to save everyone else while putting herself at risk, I wasn't just someone that everyone looked up to who wasn't even the real me.
I was Marinette.
And now that I'm back I feel like I'm turning back into my old self where I didn't know what I was feeling or doing, where I was just a body that was controlled by everyone else other than myself.
I can remember the day like it was yesterday. Where I begged my parents in tears if I can just step away from school, step away from the bakery, to step away from them, and to step away from Paris itself. I wrap my arms around myself as I recall the moment, trying to calm myself down.
--
"Marinette sweety what's wrong?" my mother called as I fell to my knees and let the tears swallow my face.
That day was horrible, I don't exactly remember why I broke down in that moment. I guess it was all my emotions built up because I didn't want to be taken advantage of by hawkmoth. During that time I can only remember the pressure I gave myself that day when I felt like I couldn't save the person that was being akumatized, or maybe it was days before when Alya said I was being a horrible friend for always disappearing on her when I had to change into ladybug to save Paris, it could've been anything that happed ever since I became ladybug, but deep down I know why I broke down to my parents.
"I- I c-can't do it a-anymore, I need to g-get away p-please," I begged.
"G-get away from what? Y-your scaring me my love," she looks down at me as I feel myself losing my breath "M-Marinette honey b-breathe," my mom grabbed me by my shoulders "Tom! Tom!" She yelled for my dad as she wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Calm down sweety- j-just breathe," her breath shaked as I cried louder.
"I w-want to g-go," I cried "p-please please."
"What's going on-," my father came into the room and quickly got on the ground grabbing me as well looking at my mother with a scared and confused expression.
"I-I d-don't know she c-came to me and began c-crying," my mom began to cry.
"D-dad, p-please send me away, p-please," I cried "I-I can't stay here a-anymore, I w-want to leave."
I pushed them softly away from me as I rub my hands together and cry harder "Please just m-move me away f-from h-here."
My parents grabbed me trying to make me stop my movements.
"Tell us why," My dad looked at me worried.
I look at him, tears running down cheeks and whisper a small please "I d-don't know w-who I am?"
