The Love gambler.

.: 5 :.

Tw:

Self-hatred
Semi self harm

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Fuck. Why did I kiss him?! Why does my head feel funny..? Did I get.. drugged again..? I-.. I don't know. I pulled away from him and looked up at him. He had the face of fear..? I shook my head to get a clearer view but then I just felt the urge to.. run? So I did. I pushed away from him and sprinted to somewhere.

"JAMEY WAIT!!" I heard him yell out.

I ran to a door and opened it while getting inside and slamming it shut. I managed to lock it as it was a twist lock. I curled up in a ball and cried. I hated myself.  My skinny body, my scruffy black hair and my green murky eyes. I stood up and looked at the wall. I felt anger and sadness rise in me. I ran at the wall and punched it endlessly until my knuckles started to swell and bleed. Then I felt the urge to do it. Voices in my head began to happend.

'Do it.'

'He thinks your weird now'

'He'll kill you if you don't do it.'

'Do. It.'

I felt lifeless, I entered the close bathroom an opened the drawers to find any razors and I did. I began starting to cut along my arms till they were covered in blood. I walked back to the door and leaned in front of it. Soon I heard a knock.

"Hey... Jamey? Its me Henry. You okay? You can talk to me if you want..?" Henry spoke with a soft tone.

I didn't respond but then I heard the lock tick. My eyes widen but I just sat there. He opened the door and I heard him gasp.

"JAMEY?! what they fuck are you thinking?!" He yelled.

He ran towards me and grabbed my arms he ripped apart of his shirt and bandaged up my arms..? But why..?

Soon he lift my head and up. I looked at his eyes and he looked at me back.

"Ooh.. fuck.. Norman is gonna fucking kill me but I can't help it." He spat.

He pulled me in and kissed... me..?! I froze but then kissed him back. He held onto my waist and soon pulled away. I shivered as he looked at me. I started tearing up. My breathing was quickening as I let out a cry. Henry hugged me and held my head. I kept crying as I felt blood drip from my wrists. I felt Henry shift to get something.

"Hey, Rosa? Can you come to the third room bathroom on the 4th floor with some proper bandages?" Henry spoke in a soft tone.

Soon I heard a muffled feminine voice. But chose to ignore it.

"Okay, yeah everything's fine thank you." Henry chuckled but sighing at then end. "Okay, see you soon."

He put which seemed to be his phone down and kept holding me.

"You'll be okay, I promise.  We'll get you bandaged up and taken cared of." Henry softly spoke in my ear.

I didn't say anything only having a few hums and sniffles. A few minutes go by and I slowly sat up. I looked at Henry and he looked at me. He smiled at me but I turned my head away.  He then turned my head towards him and cupped my face. I slowly gripped his wrists but whinced at the pain but bared with it. His hands felt big on my face. I guess I like it. What-.. Does this make me gay..? But I used to like women. Im just..-

"You okay..? You seem like you've got something on your mind.." Henry spoke up.

"I-.. m-mh.. Does.. this..? Make u-us.. gay..-?" I stuttered out.

Henry blushed at this but I thought I did something wrong.

"I-.. i-im S-sorry..! Th-that was r-really dum-dumb of me.." I panicked.

"Hey, hey.. its okay. I don't mind.." Henry reassured.

Soon enough the bathroom door opened. A pretty black haired woman came in with bandages.

"Hey Henr-.. whats going on?" The girl spoke.

"Dont worry about it Rosa." Henry sighed.

He reached out for the bandages which Rosa gives to him. Henry then unwrapped the poorly tied bloodied up shirt from my wrists/arms and exchanged them with the bandages they instantly soaked up the blood and stopped the bleeding. He kept wrapping them until it was tight and right enough for me. He cut of the excess bandage and carefully wrapped the end into the bandage on my arms.

"There we go.." Henry sighed.

"So can you now explain whats happening?! Second I heard from Norman your planning on ki- hm!" Rosa spoke out but got cut off by Henry.

"SHUT your mouth or ill have your head cut off." Henry hinced as was quick to stand up and shut Rosa up.

I looked up at them confused. Henry gave me a stern smile. He seem to have a sense of guilt but as well as not guilt. Why would he be guilty..?

"Anyways.. Rosa be silent for now ill talk to norma about it.." Henry sighed.

Who is.. Norman..? I watch Henry let go of her and Rosa just looked back at him with a clear annoyed expression.

"Well have fun with Norman kicking your ass." Rosa muttered before leaving.

Henry scratched the back of his head before helping me up and leading me back to the room.