Afraid of the Living - Carl Grimes

☆ three

987 words

Leah's POV:

I wake up in a cold sweat.

LJ's gone.

Lola's gone.

I'm not in the house. Where am I?

"Help me!" My mom's voice rings in my ears.

Isn't my mom dead?

"Help!" The screams are so loud.

"Mom?"

I get out of my sleeping bag. I'm in the tent again.

"Mom, I'm here. I'm here." I hold her hands.

She's looking down. When she looks up, she looks... sick? Almost like a walker.

"It's all your fault." She whispers.

"What?"

"It's all. your. fault. You are the reason I'm dead."

"Mom, what?"

She lunges forward at me. She's trying to bite me. It's like she is a walker.

"Mom, no!"

I wake up again, this time in the house. Another nightmare. Tears are streaming down my face, sweat is covering my skin, and I feel nauseous. LJ isn't in bed with me. He must be asleep on the pullout couch. The baby is out like a rock, though.

Maggie bursts through the door. She puts her hands on my shoulders and face, checking me.

"Hey, are you okay? You're okay, I've got you."

Someone else is standing at the door, but my vision is so blurred that I can't tell who it is.

Maggie holds me. I feel comforted and relaxed, like I can put my guard down.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, I'm sorry." I mumble through the tears.

"It's okay, honey, it's okay. Just rest on me, alright?. I'm not going anywhere."

Maggie lays down under the cover and holds my head to her chest. My mom used to do the same when I got nightmares. She strokes my hair to calm me down. I fall asleep again, hoping I don't have another nightmare.

~~~

My eyes open to see Maggie fast asleep. She must've been tired. I slowly slip out of bed. I look at the alarm clock to see that it's 5 AM. Lola is fussing. I pick her up, wrap her in her blanket, and walk her downstairs.

I turn a small lantern on in the kitchen so I don't wake anyone in the living room. I grab the formula and bottled water from the cabinet, along with one of her bottles. I make sure not to mix her things up with Judith's so they don't get sick. And since Lola was having health problems, she was given a formula with extra nutrients.

I attempt to hold her and make the bottle at the same time, but I drop the bottle before I can fill it. I cringe, hoping nobody woke up from that. I pick the bottle up and set it on the counter. I see Carl out of the corner of my eye

"Do you want me to hold her so you can do that?" He gets closer.

I think about it. I need to trust people again.

"Just be careful with her." I hand Lola to him, and he immediately fixes her blanket.

I make her a bottle, warming it up. I look over, and he's playing with her nose and hands.

"You're good with her."

"I had to take care of my sister when she was this little. I got used to it, I guess."

"Do you want to feed her? You don't have to."

"Yeah, I will. You can go back to bed, and I'll put her back to sleep." He grabs the bottle from my hand and starts feeding her.

"Maggie's taking up the whole bed. LJ is on the pullout couch."

"Sleep on the couch in the living room."

"Weren't you sleeping there tonight?"

"I'll figure it out. It's fine."

"Okay. Goodnight." I smile at him and pat Lola's head.

I walked into the living room anslippedip under the blanket he was using. It smells like him.

It takes me a while to get sleepy enough, but when I start to doze off, I feel a thump against the floor next to the couch.

"Shit, sorry."

"It's alright. You don't have to sleep on the floor. I can move."

"I'm good. Honestly."

I threw one of the pillows and a blanket that was resting on the couch at him.

"I apologize in advance if I wake you up. I get nightmares."

"It's fine. If you do wake me up, then I can throw a pillow at you."

I laugh and turn back over, stuffing my head into the pillow.

"Night, Leah."

"Goodnight, Carl."

~~~

"So what exactly do you guys do here?" I ask Enid.

We're at Ron's house to hang out. Can't say I'm that excited.

"There's foosball, books, comics, drawing supplies. Basically, just chill."

"Okay, cool."

I pick up a pad of drawing paper and sit next to Enid. We both laugh over stupid things from before while drawing random things. She's a really good artist. Carl and Ron play foosball.

Sam and LJ are playing together. They aren't super close in age, but I guess it's better than nothing.

I learned that Enid was out on her own for a long time before she found Alexandria. She went out to get supplies and came back to find her parents. Dead. I apologized that she had to go through that and she thanked me for my concern.

I also learned that Ron can be a serious asshole sometimes. To his brother, to Carl, his mom, me and Enid, too. I give him a pass, though. Just a slight one. Dealing with the end of the world isn't easy on everyone.

The last thing I learned is that most of the people here don't have experience with the outside. Carl's group, Enid, and I all do, but Deanna and Ron's families have been inside the walls since it all began. Lucky them. They've never seen what it's like to survive. Not truly.

☆☆☆

a/n: idk how to end the part lol. there's a time skip in the next one. enjoy!