Why Stay When No one Cares?

Chapter 1: Feeling Unwanted

*Self harm and mentions of lack of hunger!*

*Balloon's P.O.V*

I was laying in bed, it was nothing new. Laying here with a bunch of thoughts just bouncing around in my mind. I take a glance at my phone for the time, 1:30 pm. It's just about lunch time, I think. Maybe it is lunch, either way, I wasn't going to go down for food.

Yeah, I haven't moved from my bed at all today. I didn't care however, I didn't care one bit. I wasn't going to go downstairs where everyone hates me. Staying up here in the slight comfort of mine and Nickel's room where nobody could see my face was good enough for me.

Mine and Nickel's room, *sigh*, why did OJ make him of all people my roommate? Nickel hates my guts to a whole 'nother level! He antagonized me every chance he got during this season of II and OJ is like, ' You two hate each other, let's put you two together as roommates!'. *sigh*

*Grumble* Oh. My stomach is rumbling. I guess staying in my room all day isn't a good idea huh? I guess I should go grab something to eat. *sigh* I get up from my bed and change into something more acceptable for the day. I head to the restroom to freshen up my face and to fix my hair, it looked like a mess.

Looking less like a sad mess, I start making my way towards the elevator that will take me down to the 1st floor. As I continue walking, unwanted thoughts plague my mind. I still don't know why I'm even allowed to live in this hotel when everyone hates me. Can't they see that I've changed!?

Well, not everyone hates me, I have a good 2 friends here. Suitcase, and Trophy. Suitcase was still in season 2, and I'm rooting for her. Trophy, we've known each other since highschool, he's not so bad when you get to know him. I wonder how he's doing. We, we haven't talked since highschool graduation. Don't blame him! His dad made him stop talking to me.

I can feel my face turn into a frown. I have changed. Suitcase knows, and I'm sure Trophy knows the real me. I kept walking, when I finally reach the elevator; living in the room farthest from the elevator really gives you a workout. I press the down button and the elevator opens.

I get in and press the 'floor 1' button. The doors close and I feel the elevator moving. I began to get pulled back into my unwanted thoughts. My mind raced with a bunch of negative thoughts and I began to question myself. 'Have I really changed?', 'Why did I try to manipulate my team back in season 1!?', 'Do I deserve forgiveness?'.

I'm stuck in thought when I hear a cough. I snap out of my thoughts and I see Paper standing in front of me. Crud, how long was I just standing there!?

"Um. You okay Balloon? You seemed really deep in thought right there." Paper asked.

"Oh! Um, yeah! I'm fine. Just, got lost in thoughts. Heh." I replied back with a fake smile.

" Ah, okay. I just thought I would check. I heard the elevator and I saw you just standing there. You, um. You alright?" He asked me.

"Y-Yeah. Don't worry about me! I'm a-okay!" I answered. That was a complete lie though, I'm not okay, but nobody cares how I feel.

"W-Well, okay. Just wanted to check in. Lunch is still out if you want any." Paper says as he begins heading towards OJ's office. Once he was out of sight, my face goes back to it's sadden state. I had no idea I was even down here! I really was in deep thought if I didn't hear the elevator ding.

I put a small smile on my face and began making my way towards the kitchen. As I'm walking, I can hear chattering and giggling all around me. I glance to my left and I see Salt and Pepper gossiping; more than likely about me showing my face. To my right, I see Paintbrush and Nickel muttering about something; again, probably about me.