discovering indigo. (finding sky by joss stirling)

chapter seven

i am going to escape.

i am going to escape because otherwise the consequences are going to be dire.

i decide that mantra is too long and instead go with;

i am going to escape because otherwise i will die.

quick and catchy.

i pace the small bedroom as quietly as i can, walking about seven steps before hitting the wall and then spinning around on my heel and walking seven steps the other way.

this little routine had been going on ever since will left to go to bed four hours ago. for some reason, our little chat gave me new energy. must've been those eyelashes.

i hit the wall again and stop. the walls are painted so threateningly white i am surprised i cannot see my reflection staring back at me.

i am going to escape because otherwise i will die.

i am on a mission of gigantic proportions, i open the bedroom door a crack and peak outside. from the window across the open plan living room i can see the creeping morning light. there is a fog thick and sad, the whole world is an x-ray of itself.

i step out of my bedroom and i am temporarily surprised that huge thick silver bars don't hurtle down from the ceiling and surround me, or a siren doesn't thump it's music through the room or that the world doesn't spontaneously combust. i stop myself doing a victory dance.

i think of the notebook which means more than my stupid-effed-up-life. i imagine the cloth bound hard covered book full of secrets that are not mine tucked under mr benedicts arm as he sleeps. the book would come later. first, escape.

i tiptoe to the kitchen, my keds padding along the tiles, my clothes crinkled. the early sunlight curls around the kitchen so it's soft and pale and not quite there. there is a window seat at the edge of the kitchen, and i kneel on the cushions and try and open the window.

it is of course, locked.

i have never used my gift on an object before, i assumed that because there was no beating heart or flashing eyes it would not work, but there is a first time for everything. desperate times call for desperate measures.

i close my eyes and concentrate solely on the windowpane. i fuel all my energy, urging, willing, hoping that an emotion will cause the lock to-

there is a click and i gasp as the metal lock falls directly into my lap. i pull the window open, the first thing i notice is the sky, so full and blue and the kind of brilliant white clouds that make you grateful you have eyes. nothing can go wrong under this sky.

i sit on the window pane, my legs dangling off the edge as the world beneath me tries to wipe the sleep from its eyes. i angle my body so i can fire-man-spider-man combo wriggle down the draining pipe.

"you can't leave."

i turn to look over my shoulder and see will, sporting bed hair and wrinkled pyjamas, his eyes still bleary with sleep.

"why not?" i whisper loudly.

he doesn't know what to say, his mouth opens and shuts quickly. "what about your book?"

i shrug, not wanting to reveal my plan to him.

he walks over slowly and sits on the window seat. "you are so not going to shimmy down the drainpipe?" he peers out the window and looks at the black pipe spiralling down the building.

i nod, half joking. "super man style."

"but you'd die." his voice is a harsh whisper, and it takes me by surprise.

"no, i'll be fine."

"god, how selfish are you?"

"what?"

"you're gonna fall and there's a ten foot drop and no one will be able to save you. it's like suicide."

"i am not gonna die, will." i persist. "whats this even about, anyway? why are you getting so worked up?" i look at his wild eyes, both his hands clenched into a fist, his knuckles white with tension. realisation dawns on me. "if i fall over the edge, it's gonna make your family look bad. a missing teenage girl falls out the window of your families apartment. the press would have a field day. you'd be ruined."

i look at the boy with the messy curly hair, the muscle in his jaw twitches as i stand up on the window ledge, my toes hanging over the edge. and for one split second, i think i could probably do this. i could jump. it would be over in an instant.

i am pulled in through the window and i am sitting on the plush window cusions again. "why would you do something like that, huh?" he sounds so desperate and scared. "how could you ever do something like that to me?" his voice sounds thick with emotion.

i crawl a little closer to him, i am scared now. i don't even know why. but his fear and his sadness are more than just standing on a window ledge. "will i-"

"god, you're my soul finder." he blurts out. "and if you die, a huge part of me dies with you."

{i am sorry this is so short and i will do a long reply one really really soon}