My thoughts. My heart. My words

I am happy.

I am at the state of my life where all my dreams coming to reality.
I am grateful enough for the beautiful path that life's offers me.

I am happy..
I'm happy because I do good at my chosen career.
I'm happy because I did well on my duties as a daughter.
I'm happy because I gave a good job as an older sister.

I am happy..
I'm happy because taking risk on certain things had been successful.
I'm happy because my life may not perfect but almost beautiful.
I'm happy because despite of all the troubles in the past; I'm still here, standing tall.

I am happy..
I'm happy but not courageous enough,
Full of fear to put my heart on fight.
Afraid to taste the bitterness of defeat.
So scared that I might not able to handle the pain of a first heartbreak.

I followed my dreams but not my heart.
I took risk in life but not in love.
I won my battle on harsh reality
But lose my game on my sweet fantasy.

I may seem a winner in life,
But I'm a great loser in the game of love.
Coward to take that fall
And let myself be a weakling at all.

I am happy..
I am happy because I have to be.
I am happy because I chose to be in this kind of society.
Pretensions and fake laugh is all I have to do
Until I can forgive myself for leaving you.