That Thing Called Marriage- [BxB] [ON HOLD]

Part Two- Ray.

 I sighed. All I wanted was the news that I could finally marry the man of my dreams- Ash, of course. All I wanted was that wonderful, glorious news! I couldn’t wait all day!

 I continued to pack away the bag of shopping that I had just bought. My plan had been for us to have a fancier breakfast than normal, what with it being the day of our old friend’s wedding and all, but obviously I hadn’t taken into consideration Amelie’s always hungry stomach. It had then probably been a waste of effort to wake up early and go out, but it was the thought that counted, and crap like that.

 Strong arms wrapped around my waist as I put the final food item away, and I couldn’t help but grin and blush slightly. I felt like a teenage boy again. Everything about Ash made me feel so alive, it was strange. Incredible. Every look, kiss, touch… it made me feel so young. Twenty-five wasn’t exactly old, but it still felt damn good to be transported back to my late teens all the time. Sometimes the thought of Ash not understanding how much I loved him plagued my mind. I mean, way back when he thought I had gone back to my ex-boyfriend Rylie… I had loved him just as much then as I did now, and if he didn’t trust me back then… Well. I hoped that after all these years our relationship was as stable for him as it was for me.

 And it wasn’t even boring. Some people assume that when you’re with someone for a long time you feel stuck, you get bored of them, and that’s when lying and breaking up and divorces occur- and yeah, maybe that happened with some people. But not with us. At least, not for me. I did often worry that one day he would decide that he’d had enough of me. That fear didn’t get in the way of anything, though, it never made me jealous. I couldn’t do anything about its presence, however. If we ever broke up it would ruin everything for me. I might never see Amelie again, I wasn’t her biological father; I didn’t have rights like Ash did. But I had been there for her since day one. Surely that counted for something…

 I cleared the weird thoughts from my mind as I turned within the cage of Ash’s arms to face him. He was mirroring my grin, as always, and it gave me some kind of rush to know that I could so easily make him happy. I reached up a hand and stroked his cheek softly.

 “Honey, you need to shave.” I chuckled.

 “Don’t you like it? Don’t you think it makes me look… manly?” he growled, pushing me up and onto the counter.

 I laughed at his teenage boy flirtatious attitude and kissed him passionately, gradually becoming more and more blissfully unaware that our daughter was only in the next room. I happily allowed him access to my neck, which he kissed and bit seductively- and, holy shit, it felt so damn good. Time gets lost when you are a parent, and you have to grab at every opportunity for normalcy.

 “Has Tina called yet?” I asked him randomly. He paused.

 “Why are you thinking about your sister as I kiss your neck?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes as I pushed him gently away from me, crossing the room to check the answering machine. If she had called Ash would probably have slept through the ringing, knowing him. But there was no message. I sighed; typical Tina. It was always her way to leave things to the last moment.

 “She’s supposed to let me know-”

 “-what time she’s coming round, yeah, you told me. I do listen to you on occasion, y’know. Coffee?”

 I nodded. It had been a week since I had last heard from Tina and I was starting to get a little suspicious. Not enough for a full on investigation into her whereabouts, but still, suspicious. Ash began to make us both coffee and I couldn’t help but smile to myself when his shirt rose when he reached up to grab the jar of instant coffee from the top cupboard. I crossed over to him before pulling it down again and wrapping my arms around his waist. My chin rested on his shoulder and I kissed his neck softly.

 “I love you,” I reminded him. I was always reminding him.

 “I love you more.” he replied with a grin.

 “Impossible.” I countered.

 “Apparently not…”

 A brief discussion over who loved who more broke out- as usual- which resulted in us kissing each other just to get the other to shut up. I pulled away and chuckled. He beamed at me and finished making the coffee.

 Together we walked into the living room, holding hands, and sat either side of Amelie on the sofa. She was completely transfixed by the television, her eyes wide as they followed the movement of the cartoon onscreen. Ash adoringly tucked one of her blonde curls behind her ear.

 Sometimes I thought that Ash was as close to a perfect dad as anyone could get. Whilst nobody had actually voiced their opinion, everyone had been worried when they found out that Tanya was pregnant with Amelie; Ash had that history of violence and he was always getting into trouble… but he just loved Amelie so much. He was the same as his younger self and yet different in many ways. I struggled to think of a single time when he had raised his voice to her, and it just couldn’t be done. When she was a baby he never wanted her to be out of his sight. That hadn’t changed much even now, but he had to be more flexible now she was older. He didn’t like it but he accepted it. For her.

 I suppose to anyone on the outside viewing our little set up here it would be like looking at a picture perfect family. The only problem was that Amelie’s mother wasn’t about to walk into the room, stunningly beautiful, and sit down beside her daughter and husband. They wouldn’t laugh, they wouldn’t be happy together forever.

 I was in the way.

 Sometimes I resented myself for coming between them as a family. But I loved Tanya; she was a great woman, a great friend, a great mother. And I always managed to justify things with the fact that Ash loved me. He chose me. Not Tanya.

 And as long as we were all happy with the situation, and in love- whatever- everything was great. I couldn’t see why people would have such a hard time understanding that we could be a functional family with me and Ash together. And after today, who knows, maybe me and Ash could get married. Then I would be legally tied to the family instead of just clinging onto it.

 People say that gay couples aren’t good parents and I have never been able to understand why. We love each other and our daughter just as much as any heterosexual couple with a child.

 And anyone having a hard time understanding that- well, they could fuck off. Simple as.