TW: mentions of alcohol, suicide and selfharm !
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'what's your name?' the blonde asked, studying the brunettes facial features.
'i'm george, what's your name?' he replied, his lips curling into a soft smile.
'nice to meet you george, i'm clay' the blonde answered, admiring the long lashes that were a perfect contrast to his brown eyes.
'nice to meet you too, clay.' the brunette gazed upon the taller boys shirt. 'teen suicide' he read out 'is that a band?' he asked.
'yeah! it's one of my favorite bands.' the blonde replied. 'have you ever heard their music?' the taller said, opening spotify on his phone.
'no... is that bad?' the brunette responded. Looking up to see Clay hand him an airpod.
'you can listen now.' Clay said calmly, noticing the worried expression on Georges face.
Clay turned on the music.
'It's 'haunt me' playing right now' Clay said, smiling at George.
George nodded, looking at Clay. He seemed so at peace. As if the music was making his body stop and enjoy the moment.
'i wanna be haunted, i wanna be loved. ' Clay sang, quietly, as if he hoped George wouldn't hear him. '
George giggled. Clays voice was so calming. It felt like it was just them, with not a care in the world.
'god is their music always this depressing?' George said, just wanting to hear Clay's voice.
He laughed. 'well pretty much yeah. i mean they're not all this sad. but they're still sad. ' Clay said, hoping George liked the music.
George chuckled in response, looking down and attempting to focus on the music, instead of the thoughts running around in his head.
'so, what do you think?' Clay asked, interrupting Georges thoughts.
'huh' the brunette looked up. 'sorry what did you say?' he said.
'i asked what you thought about the song.' the taller boy said, attempting to get the shorter to focus.
'oh, yeah. It's... good. i mean i don't hate it but i don't love it. maybe i just need to listen more.'
He laughed. Was it funny? Did i do something funny? What if he's laughing because he thinks im weird? oh god i'm overthinking again. why am i thinking this. OF COURSE HE HATES YOU. he just met you and you don't know anything about him. obviously he hates you.
'wanna listen more?' He asked.
what? I can't listen more. he's gonna think i'm weird if i don't tho. but what if he thinks i'm weird for listening to a random band with a random guy i've known for five minutes.
'no thanks' i replied.
I'd rather sit and drown in the abyss of thoughts in my mind.
'oh. okay.' He replied.
oh god i hope i didn't offend him. i mean i probably did. why wouldn't i. okay you know what, i'll just leave. then i wont do anything weird. but what if he thinks i hate him, especially if i leave.
i look down. hugging my knees. as if i was going to explode into a giant mess of feelings that i couldn't hold in anymore.
what if i just jump.
who would care. certainly not clay. i just met him.
my mom? no. she's too busy trying to find words in the encyclopedia. words that will hurt me. one way or another. words that will stay in the back of my mind. until i die.
i should jump. then she won't have to yell at me and she can do the things that make her happy. which would be getting drunk and hooking up with random men.
yes. im gonna jump. or would it be too painful? would overdosing be less painful? or maybe hanging myself? or should i put a bullet to my head.
the bullet would be quickest, and probably hurt the least. but where would i get a gun?
no i can't kill myself. i have to write a suicide note. so they know.
The brunette smiled, looking down. His mind wandering off to the thoughts of jumping.
'george?' a voice interrupted the thoughts.
'hm?' the brunette looked up, the emerald green eyes looking in his.
'are you okay? you seem sad.' the blonde said,
'oh, yeah im fine. just had a rough day.' the brunette answered, regretting his decision of taking the blade from the bathroom counter. Regretting his decision of throwing those pills into the bag. Regretting his decision of grabbing those vodka bottles from under the bed. Regretting his decision of not ending it sooner.
word count : 738 (not including a/n)
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a/n :
wowowo i hope you people enjoyed this chapter :0 it took a while to write but honestly im very happy.
also idk if some things are triggering so if you see anything that could need a trigger warning please tell me. but if its stuff like 'i need a trigger warning for mentioning music'. no. just... no.
also its march already? time has gone so fast... school is over in a few months.
its good but im kind of gonna miss my class. they are VERY annoying nut im gonna miss them. also i got a positive notice from pe ! though we didn't have yoga because the teacher couldnt find the projector so we had dodgeball and soccer!
also if you're struggling with things such as suicidal thoughts, self-harm, an eating disorder, or anything like that. please do not talk about it in the comments as it can be very triggering for people (including me) .
word count: 902 (story + a/n)
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'help me' // a dreamnotfound story
Fanfiction'' Clay looks out of the window, seeing the smaller boy sitting on the ledge of the rooftop, the rooftop they'd spend hours on, cuddling, talking, looking at the stars, just spend time. The rooftop that had now been empty for months. It had always b...
