He Loves Me I Just Don't Know It

Chapter 1

My name is Johnathan I'm 18 and I'm a senior in high school . I'm gay (more on the masculine side but still a lil fruity) . So ever since I was 14 I've always liked older men so nobody in school ever really caught my eye unless you looked/were older . So now that I'm a senior no one really catches my eyes because we're all around the same age at that maybe younger . So in English class there's this guy named Robert , Robert is the average straight guy but he was a hoe . But he never really caught my attention , the only reason I took a look at him was because his beard , it's patchy but still somewhat full . The first time I ever had a conversation with him was when the day I wore these red pajamas, he says (out of nowhere) "I like your pajamas , where did you get them?" I replied with "my sister got them for me" then he asks "where did you get your slides (sandals)?" . I replied with "online" he says "what's the site called" I replied "sorry , I don't tell people where I get my clothes from" then he says "where did you get your shirt from?" I replied "oh, I stole this shirt from somebody" . Robert then says "you stole it?, I hate thieves ." I replied "you hate thieves?, boy I love stealing." And that was the end of the conversation, after that class I went home and it hit me when I was going to sleep and it was something about Robert that I liked I really didn't know but it was just a feeling . But that morning when I woke up I really thought to myself , Am I being serious right now ? Like why would this straight guy fall for me? Or why would this straight guy want me? And then I kept going to class and I would catch him staring , like at the corner of my eye (I would act like I wouldn't be looking his way)  and I would see him staring straight at me . And I finally got the courage to tell my friend about him , she said she even thought something because she has seen him staring at me twice . And I even asked her do you think he could be on the down low? And she said I feel like he could just cuz he's a hoe. So slowly as class passed I would catch him staring . Then one day I go to class I'm the very first person in there alone and than Robert comes in class second and he comes over to my desk area and ask me "where did you get your jewelry from? (I Wear a lot of jewelry, I have rings on all my fingers , three necklaces, bracelets on both hands , earrings , and piercings) and I replied "oh, my sister gets me my jewelry" . And then he says "Cuz, I fucks wit it, it's clean" . And then I said "aw, thank you so much" (while I let out a fruity ass giggle) . Then my friend walked in and he walked away . And After That I was like ok, he wants me like ain't no way this dude cares so much about my outfit and jewelry. And the reason I say that because I have NO friends that are guys, all my friends are girls. So that reason being I know he wants me . So later when I went home I smoked a blunt by myself in the restroom and I took half a perc so I jus sat there in the restroom with my aripods listening to "Drank In My Cup by Kirko Bangz" and I was thinking about what happened in class with Robert and I started to kind of think about him and lowkey started to find him attractive. And so after that my motive was I want you and you want me but it has to be a secret and even though I like this dude I am scared to ask him if he is on the down low. And I think if he does want me imagine how scared he is. But anyways since I started liking him I obviously had to find his socials , mainly instagram because my profile is cool cuz most of my post/highlights are of my body cuz I'm skinny with a big butt. But I couldn't find his @ on Instagram , all I found were two accounts but both you could tell were old accounts from 2019. So I jus got off my phone with the feeling of defeat. And I cried because I thought to myself what if he actually doesn't want me and I'm just a delusional fag. Because what if he is just really nice? But , think about the times I caught time staring , almost every class I caught him at least twice. But maybe I was just being delusional? And then the next day was the I had English class with Robert. So when English class finally comes my seat is all the way in the back of the class, and Roberts seat is 4 seats ahead of my seat but the seats between me and him are empty, so I can clearly see his back and if he turns around he can clearly see me. Well In class while I'm looking straight to the board I can see Robert turn around to look at me, WE MAKE EYE CONTACT, then he turns back around quick than turns around again (DoubleTake) And I swear when he did that in my head I thought to myself "I'm not wrong he does want me." And later when I went home my friend Marissa texts me on Instagram and it's someone's at and I respond with a question mark. And she says it's Robert Account and she found it. So I was lowkey scared to follow because he had a private account, so I was scared and I just pressed it and told my friend that I requested it. And I was like ok he has to accept, Like me following him is Me taking the first step. And I waited and while waiting my friend Marissa had him in her close friends story and she told me that he liked her story (a photo of her body) and it was literally ten minutes after I requested to follow him. After that I went back to his page to undo the request. So immediately I thought to myself did I get the signs wrong? Was I just really delusional? And so I went on with my day kinda mad cuz I really was confused. And after that I just told myself you really were just crazy, like that dude don't like you. But recently in English class, class is going as normal and then the counselor comes in with a note to talk to Robert, so Robert leaves the class with the counselor and class goes on. Than me and my friends are talking and my teacher tells me to step outside the classroom because I'm talking while he is teaching so I step out of the class and while I'm outside the class, Robert comes up walking behinde me and goes "that motherfucker kicked you out?" I replied "yeah he said i was talking too much, I swear he bitch too much" and then he says "u right" and he laughs. Then I'm looking down at my phone while he is outside of the door and while I'm looking down at my phone I can see him look me up and down and then gointo class. And so I think to myself, he only wanted to talk to me while no one is around because the second time we ever talked it was because I was alone and then again this time I'm alone in the halls and HE is the one who starts the convo with a question, so him asking a question, is him asking for an answer. And now I'm just waiting on what happens in class. My thoughts are most likely after we graduate in a couple of months, he'll hit me up.