Sam and Colby oneshots (MOVING)

Incorrect Quotes 2

Sam: How petty can you get?

Colby: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

~

Sam: I'm incredibly fast at math.

Colby: Alright, what's 30x17?

Sam: 47

Colby: That's not even close.

Sam: But it was fast.

~

Sam: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Colby: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Nate: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Seth: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

~

Sam: Listen, I can explain...

Colby: You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?

Nate: You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!

Seth: You guys are getting paid?

~

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Sam: Shit.

Nate: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Amanda: OH MY GOD SETH FELL OFF!!!

~

Sam: Have you seen a person named 'Nate' around here?

Amanda: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Seth: It looks fine to me?

Amanda: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

~

Colby: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Nate: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Elton: I got distracted about halfway through.

Kris: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

~

*Colby's helping Nate out after he got injured, while the others are watching*

Elton: How does Nate look?

Kris: A little better than you, actually.

~

Amanda: Care for another sundae, weenie?

Celina: I am not a weenie!

Kat: Relax, you're among friends. *raises their drink*

Celina: My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's.

Kris: You tell 'em, Celina! *sips their drink*

Celina: Kris, what're you doing here?

Kris: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

—

Amanda: Why is Celina so sad?

Kat: They took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes

Amanda: And...?

Celina: I got Kris :(

-

Amanda: *Screams*
Celina: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Kat: Should we do something?!
Kris, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

-

Elton: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Jake:
Kat:
Corey:

Everyone Else At Elton's Surprise Birthday Party:

Jake: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

-

Elton: Dammit, Jake!

Jake: What?! It wasn't me!

Elton: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Kat!

Kat: Not me either.

Elton: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Corey: *whistles*