Lewd - Kaeya

to my dearest

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To my dearest ___,

I'll be straightforward, i think we have some sort of Star-bound connection. I see you in everything, still. I tried to get over your death by going out with women everyday, but it's just not the same. I'm sorry, it's not what you would've wanted. I met a girl who was exactly like you, everything from her personality to the cheer in her voice. Everything as in I thought you had come back to life. She disappeared, i haven't seen in her in months.

It's been 1 and a half year since your passing, i try not to think about it but I can't help it. I think about you everyday. I don't even believe I deserve to be happy when you're not around. How could I lose something so dear to me?

I believe my mind has developed a sense of coping. I dream of you. It comes once every month, I've counted at least 17. Everyday I try to make it come back, but you only visit my dreams when I least expect it. Can you come every night? I miss you. I need you back into my life. I try distracting myself with romantic metaphors, like that you're in the clouds, or the sunset, but I honestly don't believe that's where you'd choose to spend your time. Sometimes I really see you in the people. The lively crowds at the tavern, i wonder if you live amongst them. As I take a sip of wine and it's much sweeter than usual, i believe it's you.

Will you ever come back? I believe you can. I believe you're still out there. It makes me wonder if the women I briefly meet are you. But if it was, you'd stay for longer, wouldn't you?

I miss every part of you. Your delicate features, making you look dainty like a beautiful flower, and your alluring voice, the equivalent to an Angel.

I haven't been the same without you. People tell me I've become cold. You were my warmth ___. You kept me sane.

I have never met anyone as beautiful as you. Outside and inside.

Come back?

From, your one and only lover, Kaeya Alberich.