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A large cross loomed over Elise's head, the son of God lay on top of it, hands stretched out to each post, his eyes struck Elise's, they were two people in pain.
The school gym was turned to a makeshift funeral, plastic chairs set up, all facing the cheaply made, small, and shockingly, an open casket. Elise took her seat near the back of the hall and the chair creaked, everyone turned but the crowd was small; simply Mrs. Apan, Nurse Deborah, and Olive's friends, Nellie, Grace and Sophie. They sat in the front row, Elise couldn't bear to be that close.
Elise's eyes panned over the gym, a broken basketball hoop, tape lining the court ripping from the ground, and in the middle of it all: a casket, a child's casket.
A thought rings in Elise's mind. Is this it? Is this all there is?
Facing the guests, a reverend appears, older but with a slight sadness behind his aged skin, perhaps this is the first children's funeral he had done.
"Welcome, we are here today to honour the short, but I am sure great life of Olive Hollis"
Elise felt disgusted, how dare this man, who had only seen this girl dead, make assumptions about how great her life is?
"I would like to thank Eleanor Apan for creating this occasion on such short notice, and allowing me to bless this sweet young girl"
Mrs. Apan stood up from her seat, placed her palms together and thanked the reverend, he nodded in response. Only 'Eleanor' could turn a funeral for one of her students into a vanity project.
"Let us continue with the service", the reverend lifted his hand and added "Please, if you will, page four"
A ruffle of papers echoed in the gym, all turning the photocopied pages to page four, which the title read "Amazing Grace".
A small female keyboard player entered through the backdoors, set up her stand and began the first chords to the hymn. The six guests sang in out of tune unison. Elise began tearing up and the lyrics came out warbled, she wondered how one could sing of God and praise and grace when Olive is laying there, cold and lifeless, lost of any hope and religion, how could God let this happen?
As the song ended, the reverend cleared his throat, thanked the audience and asked everyone to rise, they rose on command. He told the guests to see the body, to send prayers and goodbyes. Elise dreaded this part, she did not want to see Olive like this.
In a single file line, Mrs. Apan was the first in the queue, with Nellie, Grace, Sophie, Nurse Deborah and finally, Elise.
Mrs. Apan walked to the casket, took a moment to take in Olive's appearance and cried dramatically, clutching the side of the casket. The tears fell quick and her mascara ran. As quick as this display lasted, she composed herself and returned to her seat. Nellie, now timid, looked into Olive's eyes, panned over the body and walked away; a quiet goodbye. Grace had little emotion displayed and Sophie walked quickly passed, barely wanting to look at the open casket, Elise understood. Nurse Deborah approached, she stared at Olive intently, examining her like an autopsy patient. She leaned in closer for a better look, before walking back to her seat with a confused expression.
Elise let out a soft sigh and took two small steps towards the casket then looked. Her body still and cold, hands interlocked on her torso, wearing a black lace dress with a brown shade of eyeshadow on her lids and a tinted balm for her lips, it was awful how beautiful she looked. Elise felt a pit in her stomach, Olive is just there, motionless, skin hanging off her, a body void of life. When looking at her face, all she sees are those terrifying wide eyes, the vomit that dripped from her mouth before she died. Elise traced her fingers along the rough casket and returned to her seat, she was surprised to find her cheeks damp from tears.
The reverend thanks everyone once again, but Elise hated it, she hated all of this, this wasn't real, it's just polite grief. Elise looked over to the rows of empty chairs next to her, 'how awful', she thought, 'only six people that saw Olive's life as worthy, five excluding Mrs. Apan'.
Elise heard the hardest thing a parent could do is bury their child, but this feels worse, this is an entire family lost, there should be parents here sobbing hysterically around the casket but no, Olive gets six people in a school gym, the pit in Elise's stomach hardens.
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The funeral was beginning to end, everyone rose but Elise remained seated, she felt an extreme tenderness at her core, she will have to remember Olive longer than she knew her. Elise wished she could create a large, gaping hole in her chest, pull out her heart and give the living, pulsating thing to Olive, but she stays there, seated, staring blanking at the open casket in front of her. Suddenly, the reverend closed the casket and Olive was out of sight. Mrs. Apan and the girls walked past Elise, gave her a look of sadness and left though the doors behind her. Nurse Deborah remained and sat in the seat beside her.
Nurse Deborah pulled out a carton of cigarettes and placed one between her lips. Elise muttered out "This isn't how it's supposed to be".
"But it is", Nurse Deborah replied, pulling our a lighter and flicking the side continuously before realising it is out of lighter fluid.
"It's weird though" Nurse Deborah continued, "with those pills, kids don't have an seizure, they would just choke on their own vomit if they overdosed" she said as fumbled through her purse looking for her second lighter.
"I can't find her medical records either" she added, the cigarette flicking up and down from her mouth as she spoke.
Elise was unable to focus on Nurse Deborah's medical analysis, all she could think of was death and grief, her eyes glanced back to the statue of Jesus on the cross, how could a father so heavenly let a girl so saintly die so suddenly?
Memories of Olive ran through Elise's mind, landing on one of the most recent, and least traumatic, this reminded to her to interrupt Nurse Deborah.
"I got my period last night, I need pads from your office"
"Okay" Nurse Deborah responded, now successfully smoking her cigarette, letting the smoke leave her mouth slowly, filling the empty gym and surrounding the vacant chairs.
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YOU ARE READING
Cloud Gazer
Teen FictionLoneliness is something Elise is accustomed too. Being dealt a bad hand, Elise lives in an orphanage in a small town, with her own friends being the clouds in the sky. Her bright imagination and curious way of thinking brings her down to earth, wher...
