How could I be so stupid? How could I believe that she loved me? I saw her. With him. They where.... Kissing. She didn't push away. She accepted it. She enjoyed it. I hate her. I hate her with everything i am. I could watch her burn and not even give her the satisfaction of my spit. She betrayed me. She promised to love me, she.... She... she still loves me. She has to. She was just playing with me. Messing with my emotions like the silly little girl she is. Oh God, she still loves me! I have to see her, I have to smell her! She'll be at her apartment soon. I don't have much time to get in.
How could I be so stupid. How could I believe that she didn't love me? Standing here now letting the darkness become my whole, thinking of everything that happened. She knows. She has to know. This secret game we've been playing. It's finally time. The game is over. No more hiding. No more pretending that we don't know each other. Oh, my love, how could you put me through this heartache. How could you kiss a man? She didn't have to go to these lengths to tell me she was ready. Oh, my love, all you had to do was open the wall. The secret door I made. Just enough room for me to watch the entire bedroom. All the things she's done only inches in front of me. How could she not know I was right here the whole time?
How could I be so stupid. How could I believe that I loved her? She brought him. She brought him to our special place. All those solo shows she put on for me in her dusty rose silk sheets. How could she think I would enjoy this? She was so pure. Now she is just another disease. A disease that needs to be eliminated. Men make so many women into filthy diseased creatures. Only a woman can keep another woman pure. Watching him make her filthy is killing me. I can't stand to see the one I love turn to filth. I can't take another second of this. I have to do something. This isn't how I wanted us to meet but here I am standing at the foot of the bed. Her eyes are closed. His back is to me. It's then I feel the knife in my hand. Was I planning on doing this the whole time? I can't remember. Everything is fuzzy now. Then she screams and everything goes black.
How could I be so stupid. How could I ever love someone so much? I see her across the mall. She's here every Wednesday morning to avoid the crowds. She is so beautiful. She walks with her head down. Earphones in. She's avoiding everyone. She must be a pure one. I have to talk to her. If I just lightly bump into her I could apologize and get her name. That's all I need. Just a light bump. Just enough for her bag to fall. Just a light bump..
"Oh my, I'm so sorry. Please Let me help you pick this up." To my success her wallet flys open and her id is visible. Lucy Olivia Vivian Evergrown. L. O. V. E. Could this be it? Is she my true love?
"No, I'm sorry, I should really pay attention more, and thank you for helping me get this picked up." Her voice is like silk. The thought of dusty rose crosses my mind, but is quickly lost when she giggles. The sound makes me shiver. I could listen to her all day every day. " I am such a klutz. I am truly sorry for running into you. Can I buy you a coffee or something to make up for this?" She's asking me on a date? It's then that we lock eyes and I realize her eyes are a gray green blue. I've never seen such a beautiful color before. I can't look away. There is a sadness in them. I'm lost for a second before I finally respond.
"It was partly my fault as well but, I won't turn down a free coffee. Im Maria Cruz." When our hands touch it's like fire has taken over my body. I'm burning. All at once the fuzziness in my brain is clear. I know at that very moment I would do anything for her. I would be anything for her. She's the one. I have never felt this before.
" It's nice to meet you Maria. I'm Lucy Evergrown. Could you point the way to the best coffee shop? Im new here and i'm not sure where a lot of things are."
"Well then the universe has spoken. I was just thinking about how I needed a new friend to show all the cool spots to." My words make her smile. This is all different. I've never talked to the people I've loved before. As we walk out of the mall we pass the newspaper stand. The headlines read. "Couple Killer Strikes Again" along with "Rumors of Ivy Vigilanti
Killer To Be in The City'' It's a good thing I found my true love. I found a pure one just for me. Ill never have to purge the filth again.
The Ivy Viglianti has been taking out my friends left and right. This person started killing serial killers around the same time I killed my first filth. I'll never forget my first. My first heartbreak. Elvira was her name. I thought she was the one. But she ended things with me to date a man that turned her to filth. A switch turned on in my brain then. Now, I don't consider myself a serial killer but I have found that I can relate to a lot of them. They understand the things going on inside my head better than I do. Over the years I've really become good friends with a few of them. But this vigilanti is ruining everything. They leave a single Ivy leaf in the hand of the ones they killed. After a deeper dive into the victims lives they found that every person murdered had a murderer or serial killer. After two of my friends were found with an ivy leaf. I was constantly looking over my shoulder. Well not anymore. I have Lucy now. That part of my life is over.
We both learned so much about each other on that coffee date. I learned that her parents died in a home invasion and that she and her sister survived only for her sister to be killed a year later by an ex. She moved to the city for a fresh start. She teaches yoga and kickboxing in a studio not far from my apartment. I even shared some of my life with her. I told her my whole family was in carpeting and construction. I work as a manager for a big company that works on all the up and coming buildings around the city and that I do smaller jobs on the side for people who can't afford bigger company prices. I even told her about my family finding out I was gay and how they kicked me out and have never spoken to me again. She smiled at me and held my hand while I told her. She said it was a good thing we found each other.
How could I be so stupid? How could I not see who she really was? The ivy leaf in my hand was cold and heavy for a single leaf. I could hear Lucy breathing heavily. Her forehead was split open and the side of the face was bloody. The fight we had was intense. I've never lost before. But here I am with a knife in my chest and a leaf in my hand.
"Do you know how many Maria Cruz's there are in the U. S.? I have been looking for you for years. I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time. But the saddest part is you don't even know why you are so important to me."
I could barely breathe. "I'm... killer." That's all I could manage to say.
" You are more than just a random killer Maria. You killed my sister Elvira! You stabbed her until she was unrecognizable!"
"Des..troy....Filth." Everything was fading in and out. There was peace coming over me. I drew in one last breath. Everything was bright and beautiful. I could see Elvira. I could see them all. There were so many. They weren't happy. The closer I got I could see they all had knives. There was no turning around. I was being pushed closer to them. There was no stopping. They are getting closer! No! No! Stop! Please! As the first knife came down on my arm. I knew I wasn't in heaven. I was sent to hell.
