If I had loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

Notes: As I said, English is not my mother language. I'm so sorry if there's some error, I did my best but I still have a lot to learn. Please let me know if I wrote something wrong, I'll correct it! I know I'm a thousand thousand years late, but the truth is that my artistic vein was exhausted... Lately I've been feeling inspired, even though I don't have much time to write now. This is simply a transposition of how I imagine it was the conversation between Yugi and Atem in Dark Side of Dimensions, which took place off screen. I really think Takahashi wanted each of us to imagine the conversation we like best. Ultimately, I wanted to explain a bit how I see Puzzleshipping, more in detail how I interpret the link between these two characters. I know that everyone has their own idea, so sometimes it's a couple that is perceived badly by the fandom. However, if there is still someone here, strike a blow! Actually, the real reason I wrote this is to look for someone to share the love for YGO and for these two. Enjoy the reading!

If I had loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.

The rosy light of the sunset dyes the asphalt of the bridge we are crossing to go home, and is refracted on the water, creating a thousand small sparkles. You have always enjoyed watching the sunset, especially on the river. The black magician card is at the top of the deck, just like it was before you left.

<< That deck means a lot to you. >> Jonouchi is almost seraphic, in continuing his speech.

<< Mhm. >> I confirm then. But immediately after I look down, bringing the cards closer to my face. Sadness bites my heart again, I hope it's not too obvious. << Actually, it means a lot to Mou Hitori no Boku... >>

I can't continue. Thinking about you is, in a certain way, paralyzing. Anzu and Jonouchi notice almost immediately that I haven't kept up and turn to check that everything is okay.

<< Yugi? >> Anzu looks concerned.

<< Oh, it's nothing, sorry! >> I exclaim then, and it's a bit like waking up from a sort of fleeting trance.

<< Hey, Yugi, you don't have to force yourself to forget him. >> Jonouchi tries to reassure me. As a reflex I bring the deck to my chest, right on my heart, at the point where I feel the abyss that has been devouring me for months. But I can't add anything else. I'm not trying to forget you, it would be like looking for orchids in the desert. This is precisely the reason why whenever something reminds me that you are no longer here, I cannot escape the sense of profound loneliness that swallows me. I think I will miss you forever. I kept all the few things you left: the golden box, the cards you used. Yet I can no longer perceive you. You're not inside me anymore, neither in the objects you loved. You chose a different path, and I currently don't feel the connection we used to have. You left me here, with an unbridgeable void where your presence was before.

I don't say anything to Anzu and Jonouchi, not because I'm afraid to, it's just that I feel like words aren't enough to express what I feel. It makes me smile. "If I had loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more." I must have read it somewhere, but I forgot where.

...

Everyone, I'm sorry.

I just have time to realize that I won't be able to finish the draw that I announced, before a myriad of black dots unfolds before my eyes. Is it over...?

It's ironic, because after everything my friends and I have gone through, to put a stop right now, in this stupid way, is nonsensical. What a waste. All the tears and pain we've gone through to get this far. What a waste. Every time I believed I could be a normal guy. What a waste. How much I deluded myself, telling me that even if I miss you, it would have been fine anyway, because in return I could have built a happy and peaceful life.