Ethereah

Author's Note

I don't plan to write an Author's Note between every chapter, but I thought this would be worth talking about.

Chapter Two is not coming as easily as Chapter One and it was really bothering me. I edited the first part of it and before I continued I wanted to accept all the edit suggestions in Google Docs before continuing. Trust me, it needed to be done. The first part of this second chapter was nothing but cross-outs and colored text. I couldn't focus enough to move on to the next scene.

Anyway, I can't figure out how to 'Accept All' suggested edits in the Google Docs app on mobile; and it took a few days before I remembered to do it when at my PC – as ADHD as my brain can be and as rarely as I've been on my own PC these days.

I finally did it tonight.

While I was clicking around in Google Docs tonight I realized something: I've been letting the amount of edits and the difficulty I'm having with this chapter inhibit me from completing the work on it. In turn delaying working on the later chapters. I've been consciously and unconsciously punishing myself for doing exactly what I want to do: write, edit and publish my book.

Edits are not failures.

Logically, I know this. But that doesn't mean all the cells in my body understand it at the same time. For some reason tonight all the stars and planets aligned in the universe that is my brain, and I am grateful.

So I accepted all the edit suggestions and made a deal with myself: even though the first part of Chapter Two needs more work, I'm going to leave it alone for now and continue on with the rest of this pass. It doesn't need to be perfect yet. I can edit it again – and again, and again, and again. I will make notes of what I further wish to improve and change, and I will publish Chapter Two on WattPad knowing that it isn't perfect.

And that's okay.

It is how it is right now. I decided that it wasn't worth giving up on editing Chapter Two and then rolling down the slippery slope and giving up on my novel. Again. I am not letting Ethereah sit for another two-six years because my RSD is telling me I'm a total failure for making changes to my own work - when I want to be doing exactly that! I can't edit and improve Ethereah without actually editing and improving Ethereah.

...

Amazing, right?!

All this to say: Chapter Two is coming soon. I've moved on from "the devil section", noted what I still wish to change, and am knee-deep in the next scene. This entire chapter was a thorn in my side the first time I wrote it and I suppose I'm just sad that years stuck in the darkness of my drawer hasn't somehow aged it into a fine cognac. Bastard.

But I realize it doesn't have to be perfect – just better than it was before.

And then I will continue on and do it again. And again, and again, and again. My goal is to have Chapter Two up some time over the upcoming weekend. This is reasonable accountability! Especially now that I feel I've figured out this particular mental puzzle.

Thanks for following this tangle with me! I'll see ya this weekend. ;)

~ Meghan ♥