A Ladybug's Wrath

One

Marinette stared blankly at the miraculous box sitting on her desk; Tikki's concern over her holder grew with each passing minute that Marinette sat impossibly still. She had never seen her holder like this, emotionally and physically still. Marinette had always been a flurry of activity and emotions seemed to pass through her as quickly as a tornado.

Despite what it looked like to the outside world, emotions were whirling through Marinette, but at a slower pace. She analyzed every emotion that went through her mind and hardened herself. Marinette had always been someone who felt things deeply and as she thought over the situations she's been put in lately, she knew she couldn't handle things like she had been.

Master Fu had been forced to transfer the Miraculous Box into her possession and they had only barely touched over her duties as a guardian. She didn't have the proper training, she only had instinct to help guide her, but she knew that wasn't going to be enough. Master Fu could no longer help her, and it was her own fault. She had been foolish and hadn't taken enough caution.

Having to go find the guardian every time she needed another Miraculous to help her in a fight had also not helped the situation.

She ran possibilities through her mind and came to a conclusion: she was going to need another permanent hero on the team.

Marinette leaned forward, resting her elbows on her desk, the sudden movement had startled Tikki. The Kwami watched her holder, unsure of whether she should speak at the new movement, or continue observing her.

Marinette rested her chin on her hands and ran through the possibilities.

She now was able to acknowledge that she needed help. If she kept having to leave a fight to grab a Miraculous, that could end up with Hawkmoth discovering the Miracle Box's location as well as her identity, something that must be prevented at all costs.

So, she needs a permanent ally, but who?

The Lila situation has made things difficult in terms of trust. Since Lila had returned from wherever she had been(because it certainly wasn't Achu) and had almost gotten her expelled from school, she had been looking at the people around her more critically. She had hoped that her friend's would've believed her over Lila, but she had been too optimistic.

A new girl shows up telling fantastical tales and her classmates had believed her over their friend that they had known for years. Marinette had done so much for them: Had hosted events that were suited to each of their interests, had provided unrestricted support, had provided free food and gifted presents that she had spent considerable time and money on creating. She had sacrificed a lot for them and all she had asked in return was their friendship and loyalty.

Apparently, that was too much to ask of them.

Marinette's face screwed up with bitterness at the thought. Tikki's concern reared its head again.

"Marinette, what are you thinking about?"

"We're going to need to rethink our strategy, Tikki." That was Marinette's only response and it only confused Tikki more.

"What do you mean, Marinette?"

"We are the last defense Paris has left against Hawkmoth, Tikki. I am an untrained Guardian, a teenager that has far more responsibilities than anyone should have. We can't go into this like we have been. We've only been responding to Hawkmoth's attacks instead of going on the offensive and preparing for the worst case scenarios. We have to find a way to track him down."

"If anyone could  track him down, Marinette, it would be you, you just have to be patient. You have luck on your side after all, I believe in you." Tikki responded, hoping to give her holder some piece of mind.

"But we can't just wait around for the right opportunity, Tikki. You're the goddess of luck, but we can't just rely on your power to get us by. There's only so much luck can do, we can't just rely on luck to give us the opportunity we've been looking for."

"You underestimate your abilities Marinette, you can handle anything thrown at you!"

For the first time in over an hour, Marinette finally looked over at Tikki, but it wasn't with a relieved smile like Tikki had hoped. Marinette was giving Tikki a disapproving look that Tikki had never had aimed at her before. She had seen it when Marinette saw Chloe do something she didn't approve of, or whenever Lila opened her big mouth, but never at her before now. It was a stern look that froze her in place.

"Marinette?"

"Tikki, I am only human. There are only so many responsibilities I can take on at one time. There are only so many expectations I can meet before I'll inevitably end up disappointing someone. Please don't create more for me."

Feeling scolded, Tikki gave her an apologetic look, "Sorry, Marinette."

Marinette nodded and softened her look, "It's alright Tikki, you do that sometimes and I've never said anything before now because I knew you were just trying to reassure and encourage me. Sometimes, when you would scold me for something, I felt like you cared less about my feelings and more about your expectations of me to be Ladybug both in and out of the suit, but I think we both have things we could work on a bit more." Marinette trailed off near the end, seeming to say the last part to herself more than Tikki.

Tikki's heart dropped into her stomach, had she really made her holder feel that way? She knew her holder had bad anxiety, had her expectations of Marinette only made things worse?

"Marinette, I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you feel that way, I swear!" Tikki felt tears gathering in her eyes, a guilty feeling settling in the pit of her stomach.

Thinking back, she really has put a lot of pressure on her holder to do everything perfectly, even encouraging her to take on more responsibilities, and saw her holder's absolute selflessness towards her friends and family as an extension of her holder's Ladybug duties. Oh Kwami, what has she done!

There has to be a balance: both selfless and selfish, light and dark, too much of one thing is never a good thing.

"It's alright, Tikki. We both have things we need to work on. Everyone has their faults, I think we just need to be more aware of them and communicate more. Think we could manage that?" Marinette sent her Kwami a small smile.

"Oh, of course, Marinette."

"Good, because I think it's time for a change and I want you on board."