Letters to Grayson

November 9th, 2018

Sunday
November 9th, 2018
3:34 am

Darling Addie,

It's a mess over here. Everyone is trying to go home. I'm not sure they will grant us leave.

There are a couple of assignments we have to do before being able to leave.

I'm not sure we can all finish it in time.

Only 10 of us in my unit are supposed to leave soon. We are doing everything possible on our end.

Which isn't a lot. Since we don't make the decisions around here.

I miss my sister.

I'll manage.

I wish I could have a conversation with you in person. I have a feeling that, that conversation would be the best one I've ever had.

No, I haven't heard too much about me returning home.

I'm supposed to leave on the 18th, and seeing as today is the 9th, I don't think I'll be leaving on time.

Isabel has an event she wants us to go to so I hope I'll be back in time for that.

Basic training was a pain in the ass darling. It really tested me, pushed me, and really tested my limits.

There were times when I questioned it all, questioned why I was there, if I really needed to be there.

Thought I was weak, I thought my dad was right.

So many times I wanted to give up, then I saw Isabel and my mom pop up in my head.

The whole reason why I joined was for them. Knew that if I went I would become stronger, being able to protect them more.

Protect whoever I can, whoever is willing.

It wasn't easy accepting that I was going into the military. I knew what was expected of me.

I heard rumors about the military and how horrible it can be.

But in the end I made a family. These men? They are my brothers.

Brothers that I never had, brothers that would lay down their lives for me, just as I would for them.

Some of them have met Isabel, they all adore her. Treat her as their own sister.

They all accept me for who I am. Scars and all, flaws, everything that's wrong with me they accept.

They love the good and bad. Things that others were never able to love or accept.

Things I thought made me unlovable.

My experience was consistent pain, joy, happiness and many more emotions.

I told you before, I wanted to give up, but then that would only prove the men in my lives right.

They are men who don't deserve to be called men.

The men who are not worthy to be a part of Isabel's life anymore.

My experience was pretty much the same as everyone else who joins the military.

The reasoning why is different.

Everyone has a story, everyone has scars.

It's what you do with that pain, and anger that matters.