Step.

Dear reader, please read very slow and let every word ponder on your mind heavily. Let the imagery take your mind somewhere else.

-----------------------

I walk slowly through the meadows. A cold breeze hits my face, a warm sun beats down, the smell of honeysuckles fills my head with each breathe.

I can feel the damp grass from the morning dew in between my toes.

I look off in the distance, the Earth meets the sky. I hear the sound of roaring water a little distance away. I walk towards it, no expression bares my face, no thought in my mind. I am mindless and empty.

I find the source of the water. I step down and look over the edge of a water fall. The water ends into mist miles and miles down. I hang my toes off the side of the mossy covered rocks.

I look up and look at the sun, I am forced to squint a little. The sky is a deep red and orange, the whole world is golden from the sunlight that signals the day is ending.
Mist from the waterfall cools my legs and warmth from the sun make me comforted.

I start to day dream, about skydiving, skating boarding on the wall of china, surfing in Hawaii, finding the perfect girl to spend the rest of my life with.

I've looked up all of those adventures a million times, my beaten down job as a teacher can't afford any of that, and the one girl I truly loved is off somewhere else with a millionaire now.

I look down, it would be so easy to end my pain, just one step and I'm free from a living hell.

I think of my family, the children I teach. My good memories such as thanksgiving dinners, eating my own weight and passing out in bed. I remember all the times I go out with the guys at the bar and watch the sports games and drink and chase girls. I step away from the edge and look at the golden landscape behind me, brighter than ever. I give a slight smirk.

Even with those good times, the bad out weighs the good. All of those occur so infrequently, last only for a few hours. The days I've spent in my room staring at the wall, depression filling up as I realize I will never be able to do any of the things I really want to experience and do with my life because of my grades in school. I was a math and science genius, top .2% in the world on the aptitude test.

But my grades in classes like Spanish and social studies brought my GPA down so far I was never able to get into prestigious colleges. My intelligence goes to a waste.

Society burns all hope of actually getting somewhere in human advancement, peace, and eternal joy, it's only enemy is its self.

I walk back to the ledge and look down into the endless trench. I hang my toes over and look at the giant sun.

I try and find more joy in life.

I know taking the step will hurt my family, my friends, anyone I love. I could never let them cry and feel depressed, I could never transfer the pain I feel now onto their minds.

I step away again, and face the other direction.

What does it matter how they feel? If I were to die I wouldn't be able to care for them anymore. It's my life, it's my decision, it should effect me and only me. What will everyone say in the after life? I think of the after life, and religion, and God.

I think all of it is the stupidest concept ever.

I step back to the ledge, and hang my toes over.

If God loves us all equally, then why do some of us go to hell and some of us move on? He wouldn't be able to choose. And what about all those people who were never exposed to God? Do they just go to hell? Well that isn't fair, do they just go to heaven? Well that isn't fair either, they didn't have to go through suffering on Earth. What about those who were raised wrong? If God was real our natural morality would be stronger than others influence on us, because it would be fair from the start. Religion has killed more people than it has saved anyways. All the wars in history, witch hunts, even the persecution of scientist.

I'm all fed up with society being blinded by their own thoughts. I don't want to be apart of it anymore.

A warm tear falls from my eye and makes its way down my face.

I try to find happiness once more.

The sun finishes setting and the world falls to darkness.

My eyes grow heavy and shut. Darkness takes over.

I start choking on tears.

My throat hurts from trying to hold it back, and a headache causes my head to throb.

Throbs faster and faster.

My hearts starts beating so loud I can't hear my own thoughts.

My mind is going in to many direction at once!

My body tenses up.

---------------(pause)-----------

I put my right foot outwards and try to step.

--------------------------

I am so sorry I wrote such a depressing story, I tend to get the same way myself...
I was trying to write a whole entire new style of writing, thank you for bearing through it,

-Armadaius