Adjusting to a world that isn't yours

I made a lot of mistakes

"I didn't mean what I said." 4S immediately worked to backtrack, hoping it would work, but it didn't.

"... I think you did, though, you... you really think you're nothing beyond your anger?" MePhone's voice was soft, and careful, his tone laced with what almost seemed like sadness.

4S looked down, glad his sunglasses were hiding his shame. He said nothing.

"I... I don't know how to convince you otherwise, but you're so much more than your anger, Red. You're my brother. You're a strong, 'i know what I want' type of person, and... and you're not just violent and mean." MePhone moved over to sit beside his brother on the other bed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I promise you, you should never have to feel like your anger is what defines you. All of that stuff with... with him, and the training, and... and I won't pretend to know what you went through after I left-- but that's... it's all over now." MePhone shifted a bit, hugging his brother, who sat in silence, and listened. After spending most of the night outside with Knife, he had returned to his room rather early in the morning, to walk in on MePhone pacing, very obviously worried about where 4S had gone.

"I know... It's just... So hard to feel like things ARE safe. I know I've been gone for twelve years, and clearly a lot has changed, but Gods, Blue, I'm still getting used to all of this." 4S didn't return his brother's hug, honestly just not knowing what to do at the moment. "It's... going to take me a while to adjust. To figure myself out. All I used to be was rage, and anger, because that's all I was allowed to be with him. Please just be patient with me." 4S struggled to get his words out. It was hard to speak right now. If it weren't for this conversation being absolutely necessary, he could probably end up going the whole day without talking. But he couldn't do that right now.

"I'm willing to give you all the time you need for this, but... I'm scared others might not,"

"Then what's the problem with me just staying in this room until I do this for myself?"

MePhone pulled away from the hug, giving his brother a sad look; "That's... not how this works. Hah, uh... That's something I had to learn myself, honestly, but the rough thing about this is that you kind of have to put yourself out there... Whatever happens when you do though, I'm here every step of the way for you. I can promise you that."

"... Thanks."

...

It was two days later when something happened. During those two days, 4S found himself just a little more comfortable with the idea of leaving the room, trying to do what his brother asked, and trying to put himself out there. This resulted in him hanging out with Knife, or at least, just being around him most of the time during these days. 4S felt like Knife was the only object, currently, that he felt comfortable around, well, other than Blue, but that was obviously different. The two didn't talk much when they actually hung out, rather just having this mutual understanding that they could tolerate each other. That was enough for 4S on those two days. The current day though, they were actually holding a conversation.

"I'm... Confused."

"Hm?" Knife glanced up from the table, having just been tracing shapes on it with his finger, waiting for anything interesting to happen.

"That... Short one. I remember her from season one, correct?"

"Uh... Taco?"

"Yes. I keep seeing her around. Sneaking out of the hotel while we're in the lobby, she isn't exactly sneaky about it. Another thing I've noticed is she's not... Loud and annoying anymore. What happened to that?"

"Ah, okay. A history lesson then, figures TestTube left some things out... I don't know why she's been sneaking out lately, and at this point I don't give a shit, but that loud, obnoxious personality was all some big act."