She's safe with me

Lost and Confused

     Rachel Weathers was a lost shattered soul. She was growing up with an alcoholic abusive mother and a mentally distant father. She never had anyone to turn to but herself and her little brother. She constantly got mentally and physically abused by the person to whom she thought she could turn. Her mother left her and her father right after he had a TBI when she was the age of 10. Leaving the father and daughter to help each other through the tough times. Throughout the divorce and the constant bullshit is thrown at her she stayed strong. She never really had a hero or a person to inspire her. Throughout her life, she was searching for herself in others. Growing up in a small town that is about 12 miles. LITERALLY. Her friends and family constantly push her away. She persistently tried to find the good in life but always seemed to be let down. She always was targeted and bullied by everyone that surrounded her. She didn't even think she would be able to graduate high school. She just wanted to have some type of hope that everything would be better but, it's so hard in a world full of hatred. 

     Around the age of 10, she started hanging out with people at least 10 years older than her. With that type of interaction, she learned at a young age that drugs can take away the pain and form an artificial feeling of happiness. She understood the side effects of it but she didn't care because she thought it was better than feeling nothing at all. It was hard for her to cope with the idea of being who she was and living the life she did. She always wondered if she would ever be able to find herself. She looked up to her friends like they were family because they always made her feel more welcome than her own biological family. She wishes she was adopted or never born at times. She never really knew where her life would go so she decided to live life day by day. She started turning to smoke cigarettes, and weed and drinking alcohol at the age of 10. As time went on by the age of 14 she progressed to taking Percocet, Xanex, Nitroice, and LSD. She was lost in her chase to find tranquility. 

     At the age of 16, she finally got sent to rehab a bit too late. She already cut herself off from the majority of the substances she was using. She utilized rehab as a mental health break and tried her best to better herself. All she wanted her entire life is to find enteral peace and try to find the best path to better her future. Every time she thought she found herself she fell into a pit of confusion of self-doubt. Over time she became extremely self-destructive with her relationships and put up a mental wall blocking her from being vulnerable around anyone including her closest friends and family. It was extremely hard to overcome the traumas of her past. 65 days passed and in April 2020 she was let out of rehab. She only had talked to her father once and felt so lost and isolated. 

     When she got released it was the beginning of Covid-19 and no one truly understood what to do with their life. The second she got home from the 8-hour silent car ride she decided to call her brother to try to get some nicotine to smoke. He told her to meet him at the public park about 5 miles away from her house and he would bring her to a friend's house. His name was Jessie Wheeler. Little did she know she was about to meet her best friend/ future husband. It was love at first sight. She didn't know how to feel or act because she felt nothing like this feeling at all her entire life. She would describe it as a breath of fresh air finally feeling the boulder slowly getting removed from her shattered soul. It was hard for her to understand why she felt that way but in time she understood her prayers were finally answered. She finally found the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with. 

     She got into a short fling with Jessie for about two months and then they broke it off because of her going back to school. She thought she lost Jessie forever. Two and a half years later she called him drunk out of her mind on Valentine's Day of 2022. About 8 months prior she graduated high school. A month after she graduated high school she shocked herself and turned 18 years old when she didn't believe she would make it. Throughout the hardships in her life, no matter what situation she got into she always felt the part was missing from her. She knew it was Jessie. After that phone call on Valentine's day, she realized she didn't want anyone else but Jessie.

   In March 2022, She started talking to Jessie constantly. April 20th,2022 she started making their relationship official. It was extremely hard to break down the wall that she had protected her heart and soul for years. There were times when it was a personal conflict trying to let others into her life because she was content with the idea of being independent for life. It was easier for her to push others away instead of being hurt but over time she realized she needed to take a leap of faith and let specific people into her mind. She knew she couldn't do it by herself forever but she also knew it was easier than being hurt by the people she let in. In June of 2022, she realized she was starting to be vulnerable to Jessie. It was hard to tell her inner child self that she was safe and finally protected. 

     She was terrified of the idea of love or marriage. Little did she know the higher power had a secret path in mind that she would have never imagined for herself. Watching her parents get divorced, her mother cheating on her father, and then her mother leaving her because she was completely unfit to be a parent. She gave up on the idea of love, marriage, and having kids. With Jessie in her life, she finally saw a light of hope. Rachel finally felt safe and hopeful.  She finally was seeing who she truly is and what kind of person she was becoming. On the hardest of days when she didn't have any hope or faith he helped her find the light in the darkness. 

     On November 2022 about 6 months into the relationship, Jessie proposed to her. He promised her that no matter what happens he will try his best to make sure Rachel was protected and loved. Rachel said yes to being engaged with Jessie. That was the best day of her life. She finally saw that no matter what she has been through Jessie will love her. Realizing that everything in her life has happened for a reason but to help her learn how to love and find herself. Everything she dreamed of was finally coming true she found her missing piece. 

      About 5 months after she got engaged she moved into a condo with Jessie. She had a job that she liked working with the same hours as him. She was finally becoming open to the idea of being legally married and having kids with someone she loves and feels like she can be vulnerable and intimate with him.