I sat in my bed, naked and eagerly waiting for HansumFella to start his next Minecraft stream. I had been a fan of his for days now, drawn in by his unique blend of humor, alcoholism, clumsiness, and charmingly dirty socks. And today was no different.
As he began his stream, I settled in for what promised to be an entertaining few hours. But I had no idea just how crazy things were about to get.
HansumFella started off by showing off his newest tattoo, a boring design that covered most of his thigh. Fuck. As he lifted his shorts to give us a better view, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Sure, the tattoo was chill, but it covered up his beautiful pale skin that shone like twin suns.
I typed a quick message into the chat, telling him how much I loved his natural skin tone and crooked bottom teeth. To my surprise, he grinned and even lifted his shorts a little higher to give me a better view. "glad you like it," he said, smiling slightly cross-eyed at the camera.
But it wasn't until he got on the ground and did pushups that I realized, I needed his shining white skin. As he went up and down, I imagined I was the ground he was atop. Without blinking, I kept my eyes laser focused on his voluptuous ass. It was as tall as Everest. If only I could see the barren, shining skin underneath it.
As the stream continued, HansumFella's gameplay only got worse. He fell into pits of lava, got chased by mobs, and moaned into his mic. But instead of getting frustrated, he just laughed it off, making jokes about his terrible Minecraft skills and even performing a silly dance.
But it wasn't just HansumFella's gameplay that was entertaining. It was everything else too. He fidgeted in his chair, twirled his hair absentmindedly, and even started singing a song completely tone def . And then, just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, he suddenly announced that he had to use the restroom yet again.
He ran off-screen, leaving his camera rolling, mic on, and chat in hysterics. As I watched him go, I couldn't help but marvel at just how bizarre, entertaining, and pale he was.
But it wasn't all perfect. I often found myself (naked) questioning Fella. Why does he cover that sexy white skin from us with a robe? Why doesn't he show his feet? Why is he so bad at minecraft?
As I heard him piss on stream, I was reminded my love grew stronger. He had no filter, no sense of shame or embarrassment, and no exposure to the sun. He was just being himself, extra chromosome and all. That was what made him so endearing.
And the feeling was mutual. He read my comments. He smiled at my words. He loved me too.
He returned from the bathroom break, still grinning from ear to ear, clearly pleased with himself for the impromptu bathroom break without a hand washing. God I wish I could taste those dick dirty hands. And as the stream kept on, I realized that I had fallen even more in love with HansumFella, tattoos and all.
I just wish the robe had fallen off...
