𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑙𝑦

06

Should I start putting song quotes up hear on each part?

Sorry it took so long to update I've been moving houses and I usually wait a day or two to post new chapters because I edit them and add more detail

•Celesto's POV•

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

         Damien has been glued to me since we left his mom's quarter's. Which, to be fair, was around 20 minutes ago. If I'm being honest, I may have taken a little detour. Alone. He hasn't spoken since he found me. He alternates between carrying me and holding my hand like his life depends on it. " You broke a few rules." Damien suddenly speaks out. My cheeks dust a bright red out of fear; embarrassment is also a possibility. " sorry." I mumble.

           " Sorry? Celesto, you fucking disappeared. You're not supposed to go outside of our quarters alone! You randomly ran off. Something could've happened to you!" Damien yells. I flinch in response. I didn't mean to anger him. I wasn't feeling myself. I was more lively. It was like something sparked in me; something made me feel joy. Don't get me wrong- I feel joy when I'm with Damien. This joy was a mischievous joy.

           It overtook me. Now all I feel is overwhelmed. Fear swallowing me whole. I can't hear Damien's various lectures. His voice booming through every hall in this house- if you could even call it a house. It's like I'm underwater. I feel that often. Drowning. I close my eyes shut tightly to ignore the feeling. This time the water feels different. It feels heavy. I can feel it on my skin. I can feel it filling my lungs. Plugging my ears. Until I feel a hot liquid on my cheeks.

          Tears; I'm not sure if you can even call those tears. Gold rain? Damien seems not to care. He must be overtaken by rage. His rage seems similar to my overwhelming feeling I'm drowning it in. I try to focus on something each time I'm overwhelmed to drain the water. I still feel wet, I still feel as If I'm choking; Though, It's in the back of my mind.

          I'm sure Damien doesn't focus on something when he's angry. Maybe he focuses on his yelling. That would make sense. Our feelings are alike in a subtle way. Though very different- we both seem to be swallowed in them. I'm sure at this rate I'm a teary mess, but I'm not aware of it. I'm lost in my mind. In the same way, Damien is oblivious to my tears. He's too focused on his rage.

         My least favorite part is when the water drains. When I do hear the yelling. When I do feel the guilt. Instead of my breathing being slow and less often than usual, it's shallow and fast. In a way that hurts my throat. I plug my ears. I don't want to hear him. I didn't mean to anger him. What if he puts me out. I'm good for nothing after all. " Celesto are you even listening to me!?" Damien yells. " i'm sorry." I chant repeatedly. 

         Damien finally looks down at me. It seems his water has drained. He doesn't break like me though. I can see the regret in his eyes. His eyes show his emotions. Red tint for anger, almost swallowing the glossy black for regret. " don't come crawling back into my room tonight." He mumbles setting me down on my bed. His voice is smaller than usual. Less affirmative. I had no idea my actions would bother him this much.

          What's so wrong with me wondering out into the house. What could he be hiding. What could make it so horrible for me to leave his or his mom's sight? These are all questions I'm sure will never be answered. It's okay though. As long as I obey I won't have to worry about his yelling. I won't have to fear him getting rid of me. I'm sure he doesn't even love me. I'm just around for pleasure. That's all it's ever been.

        Cheez It crawls up beside me. He stares at me for a second. Then, he reaches his paw out and wipes the tears off my face. I chuckle lightly. " thank you cheez it. wanna get some sleep?" I ask in a low voice. He nods and cuddles me closer than usual. He's great at reading emotions. That's what makes him such a good cat.

         I lay engulfed in various blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. Nothing can soothe the feeling of the emptiness in my bed. The warmth missing along with the cushion. The arms wrapped around my waist. The cold fingers gripping it with little enough force to not hurt me. The even colder rings sending chills down my spine. The nose buried in my hair. I miss him. I really wish I hadn't messed up.

          Tears stream down my face once again. This time like heavy rain. Rain turns to hail. Hail gets faster. Then comes the lighting; a migraine. After comes: heavy winds; something blocking my breathing, thunder; a painful shrieking in my brain. I grip onto my head. I would've gone into Damien's room by now but I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that. The loud sobs leaving me are blocked out by the shrieking in my brain.

        Silence. Darkness. Great, I fucking passed out again. I can't hear or feel anything around me. I must've passed out pretty heavily. I can usually feel some things. Now it's just a void of darkness. And that void continues for hours. And hours. And hours. Until I'm met by a small ray of light. I'm in Damien's bed. He must've gotten me.

         Damien's bed is nothing without Damien though. Its just any other vacant bed. At least it carries his scent. " damien?" I ask. No response. I thought he might've walked out drying his hair, or came in running through the door. Of course, those aren't very logical considering the fact that he's probably still mad at me.

         I decide to just sit there. I look around the room. It feels soulless. I turn my head towards the direction of the nightstand. Theres Ibuprofen accompanied by a note. " For your headache." It reads. It's signed Damien with a little heart. How did he know I had a headache. I take the Ibuprofen with the water from the glass he left me.

         Sigh. There's not much to do here. I just toon the Ibuprofen and that's about the only thing to do in this room. Maybe I'll just wait for Damien's return. So I decide to wait. And I wait. Seconds turn to minutes. Minutes turn to hours. Several hours. It went from 11:00 am to 7:00 pm. I'm not hungry. I've just sat here occasionally getting up to go to the toilet.

         That was basically my day. Until Damien walks in. He walks in the door and flops on the bed next to me as if nothing happened. We sit there in silence for what seems like an hour. Damien reaches his hand down to rub my thigh. He leans over to me and puts his lips near my ears. " That wasn't the full punishment angel." He whispers. His seductive voice sends shivers down my spine.

          Fuck those stupid shivers. He can't just make me cry like that without a care and then desire to have sex with me. It's better I listen though. I wouldn't want to spark his anger again. Because then the cycle would repeat. Filling with water. Drowning in water. Water draining leaving some nasty water damage. I'd rather have his love than that.

         I gulp and nod my head. 

Okay but why is lana del rey writing fuel

Word count: 1313

(I'll probably edit this more later but i just need to get it out)