Baby I'm yours (Do I wanna Know sequel) Spencer Reix x Fem!BAUreader

Chapter nine: "The needle or me"

Summary: Spencer has no idea what to do to win reader's trust back. She doesn't even want to talk to him. Her mother and Frank try to help them. 

Warnings: Lots of angst, basically that's the entire chapter: angst, anger, and brokenhearted Spencer and (Y/N). Mention of drugs and alcohol. 

Word count: 9.2 K

A/N: We had a lot of fluffy and smutty chapters in this story, guys. Now get ready for angst. (Love you!!) 

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(Y/N)'s point of view

The following morning was a mess. I didn't want to wake up. I didn't want to get out of bed, and most of all, I didn't want to deal with Spencer at the BAU. I knew I couldn't skip work, but a part of me wanted to call Hotch and explain everything. But that meant telling him Spencer was using again, and that would ruin his career. I hated him at that minute, but I would never do that to him. So I got out of bed, showered, grabbed the biggest cup I found, and filled it with freshly made coffee.

- "Peanut,"- mom stood by the door before I left and hugged me- "Please call me and let me know what happens."- I nodded and sighed, feeling her arms around me, thinking she never did such a thing before, not even when I was little and left for school.

- "I promise I'll call you tonight."

- "If you want to stay here for a few more days, I would be glad to help you."- mom smiled and held my cheeks, making me work harder to hold the tears inside my eyes.- "But I strongly encourage you to fix things with Spencer. I don't know what he did to hurt you yesterday, but I know everything he has done for the last five years in love with you."

I bit my lips and nodded. I couldn't pronounce a word. I just grabbed my keys and walked out of the house.

I was glad I had a go-bag in the back of my car. Being prepared for any BAU trip paid up after so many years. I hadn't slept, and I looked like shit, but I had clean clothes. At least I could look presentable.

There wasn't enough coffee in the world to keep me going that day. I felt so defeated. So nothing. Brokenheartedness wasn't enough to describe the feeling that filled my entire being. I should have been ecstatic and jumping all over the place a week before my wedding. Instead, I was crying in the car on my way to work, having second thoughts about the entire thing.

Did I want to marry Spencer? Of course! But did I trust Spencer at that moment? No, I didn't. Not even a little. I didn't know how long he had been lying and going behind my back.

A part of me wanted to help him quit, and support him through his rough patch. But if only he would have come clean about the entire thing first. Not lying about it and denying using. If I hadn't found that bottle, I would still be in the dark about his problem.

I spent longer than necessary sitting in my car, staring at the wall after I parked the car at work. I didn't have enough strength to face Spencer alone. I needed to make sure the entire team was settled before walking into the bullpen. He would be waiting, I knew him. And I didn't want to see him, talk to him, or hear him. Not at work. Not yet.

I had made a plan during my sleepless hours to make sure I didn't have to talk to him that entire day. I knew it wasn't flawless, but it was the one thing that gave me comfort. So I took a deep breath and walked out of my car. I had to go through it, or at least try. It wasn't even an elaborated plan. I just needed to get to the BAU, walk into Hotch's office ignoring Reid, and explain to our unit chief we had fought. I would excuse myself, tell him I knew we had promised to keep our personal life out of the FBI, and beg him to help me keep Spencer away from me for the next few hours so I could get my work done. Hotch would definitely understand. I wasn't planning on giving him any detail, but I knew he would understand. Right? Of course, Aaron had always been a father figure and the best boss ever.