The Truth About Drew

t w e n t y e i g h t

Drew had to admit he deserved the ten minutes Christie spent cussing him out in various languages before bursting into tears and crushing him so tightly to her chest he was worried his lungs would collapse.

"-do anything like that ever again and I swear to God I will burn your computer and scatter the ashes!" she threatened, stroking his hair.

"Lovely, Mama," he said, wheezing slightly as he tapped on her arm, "please let me go; I can't breathe."

She let him go reluctantly, reaching out to ruffle his hair once more. Then she bent down, dropping her voice so that Kai, who was standing awkwardly by the counter twiddling his thumbs, couldn't hear. "Please do something about Blake. He wouldn't come out of your room even when I bribed him with cookies."

Drew sighed, "Okay. Honestly, I still wanna step on Aaron's face right now. Can't believe I didn't."

Christie snorted. "Missed opportunity. Now shoo!"

Drew let out a manly squeak when she swatted his rear end and jumped away. "I'm going, I'm going! Bye, Kai, thanks for taking me home."

"Bye," Kai said, nodding and giving a flick of his hand, playing the suave lover card.

He slowly turned to Christie, "I'll just... see myself out then...."

Christie smiled oh, so pleasantly. "Oh no, no! Why don't you have a cookie? As thanks for taking my baby home, of course."

Kai started sweating nervously. "Um, thanks."

She handed him a chocolate chip cookie. "So Kai." Why was there a frankly malicious gleam in her eye? "Let's have a chat."

Oh, sweet mother of Mary.

***

Drew rapped lightly on the door, "Blake? Hon, you okay?"

A mumbled "dieeeeeeee" came from within the room.

Drew sighed deeply and was just about to leave when he stopped suddenly. "Wait, what the fuck am I doing, this is my room!" He kicked the door open-gently of course; nobody wants to pay for that shit-and walked into the room.

Blake was face down in the middle of Drew's bed, starfish style. He weakly lifted a finger in protest of the sudden intrusion but offered no resistance when Drew bounced onto the bed next to him. Drew slapped his ass heartily, "You alright?"

"Hnnnnnngggg...."

"I'll take that as a no." Drew rolled his eyes. "Okay, upsie-daisies!" He slid his arms under Blake's underarms and attempted to drag him out of bed, only succeeding in collapsing under Blake's weight and sending them both crashing to the floor. "This went better in my head," Drew wheezed, shoving Blake's lifeless body off him. "Dear God, man. Do you need some fucking ice-cream?"

"I'd prefer a gun, a shovel, and an alibi," was the garbled response.

Drew blinked for a few seconds. "Well, that's more than you've spoken for the past day and I think you're not crying anymore, so I do declare we're making progress!"

"Goddammit, Drew, leave me alone to die."

"Ahhh, no. Besides I already beat some sense into Aaron and he's very sorry, so can you maybe eat some toast or something before you wither away?"

Blake was up in a flash, suddenly very, very close to Drew's face. "What?"

"I said you should eat some toast before you-"

"No, you idiot, what did you do to he-who-shall-not-be-named?"

"Was that a Harry Potter reference?" Drew muttered. "Have you been on Tumblr? Dammit, there better not be any freaky porn on my dash now."