bsd oneshot book for when i'm sleep deprived

therapy

this is awful and it's 6am rn i've been rambling all night

sorry for abandoning danganronpa for a hot sec i've been busy losing my mind over gay anime authors instead

•

Fyodor clapped his hands together.

Dazai smiled to himself.

"Oh, goodie..."

"Time for happy group counselling hour!" the russian announced, with an excitement in his tone that didn't match his blank expression as he stared over at Dazai from his cell.

Dazai sighed and swung himself upright from where he was hanging over the edge of his cot. He'd been trying to see how long he could stay upside before the blood rushing to his head killed him, but in all honesty, it was getting pretty boring. Besides, Fyodor wouldn't let up on 'happy group counselling hour' even if Dazai wanted to protest.

"Oh, you're not dead? What a shame," Fyodor hummed. Dazai felt dizziness overwhelming him as his righted himself, and blinked a few times to register the other man in his vision.

"It is, isn't it?" Dazai replied with a smile. "You'd be lonely, though."

"Lonely? I do not get lonely," the other responded.

"Hah- Of course not." Dazai attempted to fix his hair that had been hanging upside down for the past half an hour, but it wasn't to much avail. Not that he ever bothered to make his hair neat anyway. "So, what's the discussion topic today, Mr. Dostoyevsky?" he asked.

"What is the topic, indeed."

"What is it?"

"Is it?"

"What?"

"Exactly."

Dazai nodded.

"You certainly need to work on your communication skills," he said.

"I do?" Fyodor tilted his head curiously. "But I've been working so hard to learn Japanese. I thought I was pretty good."

"No, not your Japanese. That's fine." Dazai hesitated before adding, "Mostly." Fyodor nodded solemnly, chewing his knuckle. "Well, my point is, you just suck at talking to people, honestly."

Fyodor hummed, leaning forward on the edge of his cot.

"I don't see your point," he said.

"You don't?"

"No. You are being silly."

"Maybe I am!"

"We should talk about something else."

"Something else?"

"Absolutely!" Fyodor smiled, sort of creepily, and rested his hands under his chin. "Our situation. It is like a sleepover, yes? A fun sleepover!" Dazai raised an eyebrow, chuckling slightly at the ridiculousness. "And what do we do at a sleepover, Mr. Dazai? We play games? We're already playing games. What's next, we talk about relationships, yes?"

At this, Dazai laughed fully.

"You want you talk about girls?" he questioned incredulously. "Didn't think you even knew what a woman was, Fedya."

"You cannot call me that," Fyodor dismissed, Dazai only shrugged. "And no, I did not say 'women'. Did I translate incorrectly?" He paused, as if sifting through a mental dictionary. "No, I did not. I said relationships."

Dazai stared at him.

"I'm not in a relationship."

"Yes, that is the issue," Fyodor said. That piqued Dazai's interest, and he made that clear in his straightened posture.