5 Guys 1 Plane (One Direction funny one shot) [[ONE DIRECTION CRACK FIC]]

HOLY SHIT

WARNING; THIS STORY COMPLETELY CAME TO MY MIND WHILE WITH A FRIEND. IT'S COMPLETELY RANDOM SO PLEASE ENJOY.
~.~

Harry, Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn all board on a plane to fly to Willy fucking Wonka's chocolate factory. It was located in Fartville, an island to the west coast of Assrica.

"Holy shit!" Niall screams as he boards the plane. An old lady stares at him and then shits herself. Niall takes a big whiff of her asshole. "Mmmm, smells like my house."

Harry then starts to fuck a cup of macaroni and cheese. "Aweee yeah! I love the feeling of cheese in my DICK HOLE!!!!!!!!!"

Zayn and Liam then sit down, and grab a bag of popcorn watching Harry fuck his favorite cup of Mac n cheese.

After they were all done, the boys sit down. They don't mind the old lady ass crack cheese that was stained on the seats.

Zayn started to eat a steak meal, but made a face of disgust. "EW WTF," he screams. He grabs his steak knife and pulls down his pants, revealing his pubic hair he hasn't touched in 10 years.

You could see food crumbs and left over piss on there. He then takes the knife. He begins to slice off his pubic hair all over his steak meal.

Liam then feels the plane start to shake and rumble. Liam then starts to cry a river of tears because he has always dreamed of this day.

"Yes," Liam thinks, "I can finally get away from these four douche bags."

"HELLO EVERYONE!!!" The pilot screams in the intercom. You could taste his salty sweaty ass breath through the speakers. Louis gets up, and starts making out with it.

"IT SEEMS I HAVE NOT POOPED IN 5 DAYS AND NOW IM GOING TO EXPLODE." The 5 lads of One Direction all begin to pee their pants as they hear the pilot explode. The plane begins to fly straight towards the earth!

"HOLY FUCK!" Louis screams, "I totally just got these pants too!"

Liam then pushes over at least 3 women who just died and gets in the pilots seat. "FUCK I CANT DRIVE THIS PLANE!" He screams.

Liam then makes the plane do all kinds of tricks in the air.

"HEY LIAM!! I'M TRYING TO TAKE A SHIT IN HERE!" Harry screams from the bathroom. There were shit stains everywhere now.

"FUCK YOUR SHIT!" Zayn screams. "Now we're not going to be able to meet my idol Willy Wonka, the greatest candy man alive." Zayn then reveals the tattoo he has of Willy Wonka and begins telling his life story on why he loves the candy making motherfucker.

Harry and Zayn begin fist fighting over who was the better candy maker. Harry said it was Hershey's, but Zayn would defend his lover til death do them part.

"Ah shitttttttt. This plane is gonna crash!!!!!" Niall yells as he sits on Louis and farts.

Louis almost chokes to death as Niall's potatoey smelly fart is inserted into his lungs. Louis then proceeds to pull down his pants and fart right up Niall's nose so he could taste the pain.

Louis and Niall then begin fist fight, while Liam tries to take control of the plane. Not only was Liam making the plane spin, but Zayn accidentally pushes Harry out of the plane. Harry's last words being, "Oh god."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT BELIEVING IN WILLY WONKA!!!" Zayn screams at Harry.

No one tried to grab Harry, they all watched as he fell to his death.

"So now what?" Louis asks as he starts twerking.

"I know!" Zayn says, "If we all say the ancient ritual, then Willy Wonka will appear!"

"FUCK YEAH!" Niall screams. Liam just shits because why not.

"SO WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO ASS FUCK THIS PLANE IS GONNA CRASH!!! WHAT'S THE RITUAL!!!?!?!" Louis screams on the toilet.

"First you do the nae nae, and then you pray to Willy Wonka as you twerk, and then you tell the biggest secret you've ever kept." Zayn explains.

They all do the ritual. Louis' secret was that he never actually got a girl pregnant and the baby was actually his grandfathers, Liam's was he actually hates everyone, Niall's was he shat in Harry's mouth one time, and Zayn's was z016 because fuck you.

All of a sudden, Willy Wonka appeared.

Everyone was astounded!

"DONT WORRY MY YOUNG CHILDREN. I AM HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!" Willy Wonka screams.

He then teleports them all to his chocolate factory. Zayn was so excited he began talking selfies of himself naked.

Louis and Liam's mouths water at the naked man, and they end up pooping a log.

Niall couldn't give one less than a fuck at this chocolate fuck. Niall was so pissed at him, he went up and bit him to test if he tasted like chocolate.

"WELL IT LOOKS LIKE I SAVED THE DAY YOU DINKLE TURDS!" Willy Wonka screams.

The day was saved thanks to Willy Wonka. Zayn had gotten an autograph and later got it tattooed on his penis, Liam ended learning to drive a plane, Niall just did whatever the fuck he felt like doing, and Louis ended up living in the factory to sell chocolate shaped candies of his ass.

Harry you say? Yeah, he turned into a bird and was never seen again.

Jk, he's okay. He still gets constipated a lot though.
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Hey guys! This story is completely made to be a joke and for fun! This came to my mind one time when I was with a friend, and I swear we weren't drunk or anything, just really tired lol.

***UPDATE 3/30/16 ***

Please, share this story to your friends if they want a good laugh! Because I was in tears writing this because I couldn't stop laughing.

Lastly, I love all my sons, Niall, Harry, Liam, Louis & Zayn. If you guys ever come across this (which you probably won't and I hope you don't) I'm sorry lol.