life,
Is not just about happiness,
It's about how you manage to be happy,
after what you've been through.
It was chaotic.
It was a disaster that wrecked my almost whole heart.
I was at 'that' hoe phase (not literally, just chat)... when I met that guy. I was busy talking to different people and that certain guy caught my attention.
I thought he was different, I thought he'll last long.
He took me to the gym cause I told him that I'm goddamn insecure with my body. He was sweet and caring okay?we were so close to the point that I gave myself up to him.
... And that's my biggest regret in that certain year.
I was just a toy he manage to play with cause he was bored.
I was devastated.
I couldn't think of any, to get rid with that pain.
How are you going to stand on your knees after that person who lends you a hand, push you way more down than the first downfall?
I always asked myself, will I ever moved on?
Will I ever be happy?
Do I deserved it?
I just wanted to be happy, why does it feel like, happiness isn't really for me?.
That's... That's what I thought.
It was when I decided to move forward, leave those people in the past.
I goes to gym again. This time, I'll do it for myself.
In a simple word, I decided to improve myself more.
It was October 25 when I came back at that place.
I don't know where to start first. I don't know how gym works for God's sake! It was easy for me to give up, but then... The people in there helped me.
I had lots of instructor that later on became my friend.
That a-hole, we actually see each other at the gym for like everyday, as in everyday.
People always says "how are you going to move on if you keep on seeing each other? Are you a saddist?"
That's what they believed. But me? I prefer seeing the person who broke my heart everyday to move on. I want to be use on seeing those people so that I won't have any problem such as relapses just because I saw my ex for the first time after the break up.
So basically, I moved on.
My life was working again, just like how it supposed to be.
It continued, the way it was like before.
For some people, they may find it boring, but for me?it's everything. It's what I asked for. Peace of mind.
I never thought of myself being in a relationship again.
I wanted to never ever get myself involve with that thing called "relationshit" cause the last time I did, those butterflies turn into traumas that made me into numb person I am, right now.
That's what I thought not until... I met this man, who became the rainbow after the rain. The light on that darkness flee. The door to that endless valley.
