Untitled Story of Healing

Angel

I tried to ignore it for months; that paralyzing fear that I would see him again. The team knew nothing about it. It was easy to play off. All I had to do was pretend I was angry. Anger was by far the easiest emotion to fake. When my face burned in shame at the memories it was nothing to play it off as anger. That is until I met him again. Him. I could not really tell them that I was now scared to do my job. It's not that they wouldn't understand. I'm sure they would. I know they would understand. But I'm expected to be the leader. As the leader I'm expected to be brave. I am brave. I'm just... I'm terrified. And I try not to be. I try so hard to just not. Be. Scared.

But now he's here. Now I'm here. My whole team is here, and I can't hide how scared I am.

"Angel," Jules murmurs, "I know you're mad, but you need to keep it under control. We're the heroes."

My shoulders are shaking. And she can't see my face. She can't see how pale I am. The shaking isn't from anger. I turn to face my team for what feels like the first time since I was captured and a look of understanding dawns on Jules' face.

"Oh, Angel... Gunner, Lyla, make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

"What about me," Gavin blurts, looking like he wants to follow us, but Jules is already pulling me away from the unconscious man.

"Just... help them. I don't know, Gavin."

"Jules..." I start, but I don't know what to say. What do I say?

"Why didn't you admit that you were just scared?"

"Jules-"

"We're your team, Angel. It's not like you didn't have every right to be scared. We all thought that you were just mad, so we didn't try to do anything to help. I would have tried to help you, Angel. I- I don't know. I'm so sorry," she continues rambling something along those lines, but I can't listen.

"Julie," I gasp, "Shut. Up. Please."

My back is turned to her, so her footsteps are my alert to her approach. I know those footsteps. They've been around almost all my life. The cadence is unique to her. It's lighter than the rest of the team, quicker because her short stature. When she walks it sounds like soft tapping, even when her soles are hard.

I hate myself for flinching when her hand rests on my shoulder. This is Jules, Julie, my best friend. And I'm scared of her touch.

She pulls her hand away and moves to face me, "Just... please tell me what I can do."

"I don't know."

The pleading in her voice breaks me. I bow my head to try to hide the tears falling down my face. I should have looked up. Her arms wrap around me as her petite figure blurs into something unrecognizable.

"I don't get it," I sob, "I just don't. I should be okay. I am safe here. I am safe now that he's not... he can't..."

As I'm speaking Jules is situating my arms to wrap around to her back, "Just stay here for now. It'll all be okay. Just let me hold you this once. You'll be okay."

I tense again as her hands rub up and down my back. A flash of a memory collides with reality.

"Hello, little hero," his voice grates like nails on a chalkboard, "Are you feeling better today?" His fingers scrape down my bare back and the open and healing wounds scream at the touch.

I bury my head in Jules' shoulder, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."

Her hands have stopped moving but she doesn't pull away, "Ang- Angel, I don't think I can help you. I don't think I know how. Please, tell me how."

I can't convince my body to respond. I can't untangle myself from her embrace; I stay hunched over; my arms wrapped around her while I wait for the panic to ebb.

"We need to bring him to HQ," I manage to choke out, "We cannot have anything going wrong."

// Author's note

Hello assumed humans of Wattpad. I have written. Hopefully this goes better than all my other attempts.