How a man conquered both AT&T and Crumbl Cookies

prolouge

Our story beginsin a far away town of New Jersey. Jeremy thompson is strolling through town after getting off of his work shift, he was fucking ravenous. He bolted swiftly into the nearst crumbl cookie to begin his rampage. As jeremiouse thormpodeme wcrawled ti the counter he spotted a BEUATIFUKL dainty flower sitting in a TE$RRACOTTA CERAMIC FLOWER HOLDER (10.99) (it was red)... It only made him hungrier. HIS stomach growled in passion abnd hornyt pursue for the flower) and he decided he cound not wait ahny lomnger.

He got off his knees and walked to the counter. There, he saw a woman baking cookies breastfully (boobie)+. His heart swelleed, but not from love: he had a possum scavenging huis body. He struggled to speak. "I would like one boobiew cookie"

Fuck he was overtaken by love. Jermiah always accidentally says whats on his mind, because hes not like other guys. 👉👈

"Excuse me?" the WOMAN stared in fear (love). The woman stared backing up (she was too flustered by his Handsom physique).

"Also why the fuck were you crawling earli- IS THAT A FUCKING POSSUM"

"Yy-y-y-yes... do you like that?" He said blushing. He could tell by her breasts that she loved him as well. The WOMEN was silent for a sec moments. She took a shaky breath and said "I have a boyfriend :/" (SHe violently shaking now). (she clearly is so anxious to df\declare her love for me). I couldn't control my feelings any longer. He got to his knees, and crawled across the counter like a spider. She screamed, clearly out of love. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" she grabs a taser out of her back pocket and holds it like i hold women von the subway. A classic example of reverse psychology. She boobily calls 911 (probaly jus t her "boyfriend") (women always call their "boyfirend" on me). QUickly, I grabher phone and start eating it. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM meta..........bytessasssss...........i FUCKING loveeeee metap

\byetessssss..s.s.s.s.s.s.s.. I orgassnmlicly start shaking and throwing my head back. My toes curl. My hunger is satisfied.

I then walk out of the store and start towards AT&T. I NEED MORE>

OH, I never todl you what i look like. I should probably do that. OKAY. SO.BAcisclaqly7. WAIT. OH MY FUCKIGN GOD SHIT ABLLS OF MY WOOWW THERE THE MOST GBEUTIFYLLLY POODLE I HAVE EVERE SEEN> She stabnds there. I rthinkj im gonna pet her like a normal human. (beastailly is fucking weird kys) (even jeremious the third of the kingdom of helmhiem would not partake in such a actuivly. Suddebnly< iam at aTANDS T. I start shaking. Violently. Hornily. Hungrily. I begin to transform. I can't keep the monster inside. I turn into a 40 year old white woman named rebbeca. I walk into At&t. "Hello sir, how can i hel_" I STARE AT HIM WITH MUROUSEUS INTENT> "ACTAULLY I AM A WOAMN M|ANME REBECA< HOW THE FUCK COULD YOPU EVEN LOOK AT ME" I start pacing the store, a handful of malware in ym hand, im gnawuing on it. IT taste like **************.

THe man looks horrified, " Iam so sorry...susan.....would you like me yto get you some water?". I silently put ym handful of cump0uter parts down. "Okay_" i read huis abnme tag "Derriek" What. The. Fuck. "Excuse me??????" i GRAB HIS SHIRT AND OPULL IT OPFF OF HIM AND START VIOLENTOLY KISSING HIM. he PULLS HIMSLEF OFF OF ME. "wHA_" i PREAPRE YMSELF AND START MY SPEIKL.

"dERRIEK, MY LOVE, MY JOY AND LIFE, i WOUDL TO PROFESS MY UNDYING LOVE. eVER SENCE I SAW YPOU IN THAT at&t STROE LAST MINUTE, I COULDNT TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU. dERRIEK, IF YOU WILL, PLEASE GRANYT YOUR..........HAND IN MARRIAGE!" he looks at me. . "sir_ or Ma'am, i dont know you very well...." He starts to twidle his fingiess. "...but....I would like to try"

To be continued.....