Smile More (Hamilton Fanfiction)

Chapter 12

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

You haven't bled in six weeks. You thought you were just late and it was due to some... I don't know, you were foolishly holding out hope that you hadn't really gotten pregnant. But in the first light of dawn kneeling next to a puddle of your vomit, you realised that you really had made a stupid move and you were about to pay the price for it. 

How the fuck am I going to tell Alexander?

HOW AM I GOING TO TELL WASHINGTON?!

After a few minutes of contemplation you decide to risk it and talk to Washington. You find him in his tent. He's awake but he doesn't seem to have gotten much sleep last night. 

"Sir?" You mumble and Washington's head snaps up from a bunch of battle plans. 

"L/n," Washington greets. "What can I do for you?"

"I need some time off," You say, desperately trying not to begin wringing your hands. "If you grant me leave, I will be staying with the Schuyler family and should be easy to locate if need be."

"How long will you need?"

"Just long enough to get some affairs in order," You say, blinking back tears. 

"Y/n what has happened?" Washington asks, sensing your unease.

"My monthly cycles are late by two weeks," You tell him, steeling yourself for a lecture. "I threw up a few minutes ago. I... I will return to camp and stay here  through the pregnancy, I just need to see a doctor  and gather supplies."

"Do you know who the father is?"

Washington's question provokes a sob and you have to cover your face in your hands. He isn't asking who the father is but merely making sure you were aware of who the father is.

"Yes."

"Very well," He says. "Will four weeks do?"

"Yes, sir," You bow your head. "More than enough, sir. Thank you, sir."

Stop saying 'sir'.

You stride from the general's tent before you could make a fool of yourself. Across the camp, men are waking up and stepping out of their tents. One man, whose name you could not remember, nods to you in greeting. You force a smile and continue on your way. 

You enter your tent to find the usual picture; the men are all still asleep and don't stir as you flit about the tent. You find ink and a quill and begin scratching out a note. 

My friends,
Something has come up. I am leaving and will be back in a month's time. Washington knows where to find me. 
Do not, under any circumstances, die in my absence.
Y/n.

You place the letter on Alexander's chest and leave before they wake up. 

You trudge out of camp and through the woods, into the city. You have visited Philip since joining the army and know the way to his home from the campsite. 

It has to be about seven in the morning when you finally arrive but you knocked upon the door anyhow.

"Y/n?" One of your favourite maids asks when she opens the door.

"Anne!" You greet. "It has been too long since I last saw you."

"What brings you here?"

"A bit of trouble I'm afraid."

Anne eyes you sceptically. "You didn't get yourself thrown from the army did you?"

"No, not yet."

"I'll go fetch Philip, you may wait in the parlour," Anne says airily and motions for you to come inside.