Why don't you just die already
Those words echoed in my head, bouncing off the interior of my skull, bombarding my brain till they turned into a thundering migraine. Though I were used to it, the pain, the words. I remember the first time I was told that.
I wasn't a day over 8 and my mother was arguing with my father in the living room over something I was to young to understand, I was sitting upstairs in the loft on the couch, playing with my stuffed black and orange Tigger, whilst my parents were downstairs. Probably in the kitchen since I heard a pot bang against the metal stove, the metallic sound resonating along with my mothers voice. Since the loft was an open build, the far left was a drop, you could see the doorway and the living room, the large dingy gray couch was directly underneath the safety railing.
"Dammit Denis, what do you mean you 'lost' your paycheck?" I heard my mother, Angeliza yell.
"You dull woman? Lost means lost, gone, over-with. Like this conversation." Denis, my father said back in a flat gruff voice.
"No. Denis."
"Yes. Liz."
I sighed lowly, hugging the dirty tiger within my arms, one eyeball the original black orb, the other a brown button. It's fur frazzled and smelling of dirt, though I loved him none the less. He always kept me company and we had the best times together. Using my ironman bed sheets as capes and saving Lego city from the evil Dino Bots. When we decided to jump off the railing trash bag parachutes and land on the couch. When I missed the couch and nearly landed on the glass vase beside the couch, my mother having just walk in before we jumped and caught me. He was there when I was grounded from everything for a month afterwards.
Tigger was my best friend and for the past few weeks, he was beside me listening to mum and da argue for the umpteenth time today. Today I decided to listen in on their augment, making sure to tell Tigger to watch my back, we slowly crawled down the stairs. I don't know why these dark things were so big, but they were fun to slide down on, especially when mum was getting rid of her old mattress and we slid down the stairs on it a few times before she asked da to take it to the dump. He grumbled and they glared at each other for a while before agreed and left, but that was a while ago.
Upon reaching the middle of the staircase, where the wall dropped, I could see between the safety rails, and saw my mother and father standing halfway in the kitchen and halfway in the dining room. They'd been arguing about something, I think about me, for a few hours now. I could see how flustered mum was, by how she ran her fingers through her auburn hair, her pink skin was a bit pale and a small sheen of sweat glisten over her face. I could smell Mac-n-cheese cooking so the steam from the water was probably the reason.
"Yesterday was Cherub's birthday and I understand you had an important meeting and all with your boss, but you said you'd show up. Even if you were late!" Angeliza's tone expressed just how irritated she was at the man before her, who was pouring himself his third glass of spiced whiskey. Though with a deep breath she counted to ten, then with a calmer expression, tried a new approach. "We're going to Sea World today." Angeliza said while turning on her heel back into the kitchen. "Instead of being a stiff grinch all day, go shower and change, were leaving after lunch."
I nearly run down stairs and hugged mum, I was shaking with excitement and hugging Tigger tightly. Not to tight because he doesn't like when his stuffing is squished. Why I hadn't run down stairs? My head was stuck between the rafters, I didn't panic or anything because this wasn't the first time it had happen. I was about to call out from my mother till I heard a blatant clap, then the sound of glass shattering and a few other objects falling. Just as I was about to called out again, my fathers almost deafening voice shouted.
