Captivated by His Sensuality

Chapter 2: I'm Alone

TRIGGER WARNING: Themes that may be upsetting to some viewers: sickness, body image, abuse, and talk of death.

I suddenly realized I was on the ground.

I had fallen from both the impact and the shock of Duna's slap. I looked up at her. She was staring at me as if she were a queen and I a peasant. She calmly crouched down. "This house was given to me by your father after we got married. So, little girl, it is mine." I felt the pressure of tears building up and turned my face away. She fixed my jaw towards her. "Look at me. You will pack your bags and leave in one week."

I whimpered, "I don't have anywhere to go. There's no time to apply or submit a transcript- my dad... "

Duna stood. Her expression was indifferent. "It doesn't matter to me where you go or what you take with you. But if you refuse to leave..." She stopped and began again, but this time, she spoke cautiously, "Trish, think of your poor father and how miserable he is. You wouldn't want to add more pain to his last few months, would you?" I scrunched my brows. What did she mean by that?

"But I can work! I can help bring in money! I can-"

"No. Like it or not, your presence is a hindrance, not a help. Trish, the only way to fix everything is if you go."

With no other choice, I agreed to leave in one week. Days passed and my appetite evaded me. My body neither cared for breakfast nor dinner and ate little lunch. The great stress not only infected my stomach but my mind. What am I to do? Where am I to go? All my friends had moved to different states for college, my grandparents on my dad's side lived in Maine and had their own health issues to deal with, and my cousins lived in Canada. 

Forget about Duna's family. Not only had I never known them, but I assumed they were just as bad as she was. They probably would have kicked me out after a few months, as well.

To top it off, we only had one car and there was no way Duna would let me take it. Public transportation was my only option. I began packing a large suitcase with essentials and as many clothes as I could shove.

Two days before my forced departure, I counted my money. I thanked the heavens above I had a bank account under my name. With the money earned working every summer of my high school years combined with the money accumulated at my graduation party, I was able to save up almost nine thousand dollars. I would have saved more had I not given money to help with hospital bills.

As I prepared to leave, I realized my father would wonder where I had gone. If he knew Duna was kicking me out, it would crush him, only making his suffering worse. I decided to make something up.

"Hey Pops," I said as I gently pushed open the door to the master bedroom. His mouth bared a feeble grin as he watched me walk over to his bedside. The room was dim; the curtains were shut. The air smelled sour. Medicine bottles and hygiene products cluttered the nightstand and clothing was piled onto the dresser and floor. I noticed a bedpan in the corner.

"I have good news," I said, attempting to sound excited, "I found an out-of-state university that isn't too expensive. I applied for a ton of scholarships and made a ton of money this summer."

My hoarse voice became strained. It was taking everything in my power to hold back my anguish. "I'm majoring in music theory. I'll also join the choir, just like you wanted me to, dad." I touched his hand. His eyes closed and opened, closed and opened.

His eye sockets and cheekbones were sunken in. Sickly white was his skin and his wrinkles were bare with the loss of facial hair. His voice was rough and grainy, "That's my girl." His mouth remained agape as he took heavy breaths. His gaze remained on the ceiling. "Sorry, I can't be there to send you off. " 

As he tilted his head to look at me, his body tensed with pain and he let out a shrill groan. "I'm not feeling well enough."

Silence filled the room as a tear ran down my cheek. I forced a smile, "I'll survive, Dad. I'll survive."

Standing up to leave, I trekked out the door. Before I could pull the handle closed, my dad called out, "Make sure you take care of Duna. Take care of each other." Pain shot through my aching chest. He began to fall asleep as he added, "I love you. I love both of you..."

Not being able to take it anymore, I quickly shut the door and rushed to my room. With the weight of the world on my shoulders, I fell to my knees. My hands covered my mouth, struggling to contain my cries. I suddenly remembered what Duna had said, "It doesn't matter to me where you go or what you take with you."

My eyes flashed with determination. I re-entered the master bedroom and paced into the connected bathroom. And behold, there was Duna's vanity with the emerald bracelet sitting on top of a Tiger & Wing jewelry box. I snatched the bejeweled chain and slipped it onto my wrist. I felt a faint rumbling below and heard the garage door open. Duna was home from the salon.

I stepped down the stairs with my suitcase trailing behind. I shouldered my purse full of gift cards and checks I had gathered from my birthday and graduation. Preparing for my departure, I parked my luggage by the door and went to relax on the couch. Turning the TV on, I cushioned my feet upon a pillow. 

Duna meandered in with a plate of chips, dip, and an apple. I knew the bracelet was still on my wrist but intentionally left it. Sitting down with a long breath and a grunt, Duna's eyes locked on the TV.

"No hello?" She asked, keeping her eyes on the screen.

I stayed silent.

"I've noticed," she began, "Make sure after you leave to keep eating. I know it's great being skinny and all." She gave a short laugh. "Of course, I wish I were as skinny as you, but even I wouldn't ever want to be as thin as you're getting. You're becoming a bag of bones." Cackling as if she made the funniest joke, she glanced at me before returning to the TV.

"Here, you can have my apple." She tossed the apple into my lap. My nose wrinkled in disgust. Double-taking, Duna examined my wrist.

"Hey!" Duna raised her voice, "Where did you get that bracelet?"

"You mean my bracelet?"

"Brat! You stole my bracelet? Hand it to me!" She aggressively stood up and stuck her hand in my face.

"I don't want your fat fingers man-handling it."

Duna's face flushed tomato-red; her teeth gnashed; she breathed fire. I was slapped across the face. Quickly standing, I frightfully moved away from her into the entryway. My heart thumped in my chest. I can't back down now. There was no going back. 

"You know why you're like this? Why you can't ever lose weight? Why you're fat? It's because you eat absolute garbage like that all the time!" I pointed to the chips and dip.

"Wretched child!" she screeched and marched over to seize my arms. I immediately shoved her away, causing her head to forcefully hit the stair railing. She went quiet as she stumbled around, and for a second I questioned if I had gone too far. She eventually shook it off and came to. After touching the back of her head, her jaw dropped to her finger coated in blood.

"I...I'm bleeding!" Her eyes filled with shock which began brewing fiery hatred. She slowly turned to rage. Our bond that had hung by a thread completely ripped in two.

"You little!-" she cursed. Throwing me out the door and then the suitcase and purse on top of me, she ordered, "You better never come back!" And the door was slammed.

My head racked with heartache and guilt. I wrestled with the past. If only I had been smarter, I thought to myself, laying hopelessly on the cold, heartless concrete.

As I carefully got up, I felt something warm fall across my chest. I reached my hand into my shirt and carefully removed the tiger eye necklace. I don't remember wearing this, I pondered, maybe I forgot I put it on this morning. I held it in my hand for a moment as it gleamed in the light of the sun. It almost seemed alive; it was as if it comforted me.

There was a glimmer of hope. That I had a future. That I could handle what was ahead of me.

Dawning the jewelry once more, I picked up my suitcase and shouldered my purse. Then my journey began toward the bus stop.