Fly or Die

"Ghost rider airborne."

"Roger that, Ghost rider. We're with you." The reply from the tower echos though my ears. Once I get to altitude, I hear my wing man ask, "Are you ready for some fun Whisky?"  I try to ignore him, but he continues to taunt me. After 3 minutes of Hangman bugging me, I cave and reply, "You know I was born for this Hang..." Before I can finish darkness slowly consumes me.

"Whisky do you copy?"

"WHISKY"

I wake up hearing someone yelling my name into my radio and realize I am headed straight for the ground. I pulled up as fast and hard as I could, the Gs' getting heavy, so I levelled out. As I am trying to catch my breath, I hear the order to land on the carrier. Once I am safely landed on our carrier, the USS Enterprise, I was swiftly called into Commander Goose's office.

"Lieutenant Whisky," he sighs "this is your 5th time going unconscious in the cockpit and every time you have had a medical evaluation it has come back all clear." He pauses for a minute before he continues, causing me to worry. "This is the first time it has happened on a mission, and although you are the best pilot in our Navy; going to Top Gun and getting the highest score anyone has seen... I am grounding you for your safety and that of those around you Lieutenant... I'm sorry." It takes me a minute or two to take in what I just heard. I was being grounded. I could have never thought that I would see the day.

"Sir, with all due respect, I know I can do my job and I have never wrecked a plane in any of these instances."

"I'm aware Whisky, but there will come a day where you will, and I am not going to let the day come where I must tell your siblings that they have lost their dear older brother because of an unidentified medical issue."

I just nod my head at this, and he dismisses me with one more "Again I'm very sorry Lieutenant Whisky but we can't lose you." And I leave his office without another word.

After two years on the carrier, I have been put on a medical leave at the command of Commander Goose. He also told me if I wanted to get back in the cockpit of an F-18 again, I would need to go to a hospital and find out what is going on with my body and why I keep passing out well in the air. Going to a hospital is not something I want to do but, if it means I will be able to fly again, it will be worth it.

Right after landing in Tahoe, I grabbed my bag and headed to the nearest hospital. My family does not know I am home yet, because I want to be cleared to fly as soon as possible. I walk into the emergency room and talk to the receptionist and because Commander Goose called telling them I would be coming I was taken in right away.

The doctor asked so many useless questions.  I really thought that I was going to die of boredom and the lack of being able to move. He finally says something of relevance to my treatment. "Lieutenant Nicholas, we need to do a CT scan to be able to determine the cause of your blackouts in air. So, I need you to change into this gown and then we can get that done."

I reply with a simple "Okay." and take the gown from him.

The doctor had told me he would call with the results in a couple of days, so I returned home. But now standing here in front of my childhood home feels strange, and adding the fact that my family has no idea makes it especially peculiar.

I finally mustered the courage to knock on the door of this old house I have called home for so long. The oldest of my little sisters, Ivy, answers, and all I get out before she screams and jumps into my arms is a sheepish "Hi..." Ivy's reaction makes me tear up.

"I've missed you so much Ivs." is all I can manage without bursting into tears before the rest of my family is at the door and bombarding me in hugs and kisses.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be home for six more months," Ivy asked.

"I was put on medical leave for a bit and actually just got here from the hospital."

"What happened bubby?" I hear my baby sister ask. "Umm... well, Princess, when I'm in the air, sometimes I get dizzy and that's not good, so my boss sent me home, so you don't lose me. That's why I went to the doctor so they can make me better." I explain to a 4-year-old Belle.

Mom looks at me in shock. "What?! Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine but in the air, I keep losing consciousness. I've blacked out five times now and the last one was on a mission. So, Commander Goose ordered me to go home and get a professional diagnosis because they couldn't do to it on the carrier."

After catching up with my mom and siblings, I go downstairs to my old room, and it makes my cabin on the carrier look like a hole in the wall. But after a long day of travel and more human interaction than I am used to, I need some sleep.

The next morning, I get woken up by little Belle snuggling into my side and, as a stone-cold aviator, this melted me. "Good morning, Princess," I greet her.

"Morning Bub," she replies. We cuddle for a bit but after a while she runs off, so I get up and get dressed for the day. It is weird not having to put my uniform on this morning. I walk upstairs and greet the rest of my family then have breakfast, when suddenly my phone starts to go off. Ring, ring, ring. I quickly answer it and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Lieutenant Morgan Nicholas?"

"Yes, this is."

"Okay, Lieutenant, your results have just come in and it looks like your blackouts were caused by dehydration. I would suggest drinking water before you get into your jet."

"So, I'm clear to fly?"

"Yes, Lieutenant you're all clear to fly. I'm informing your Commander now."

"Thank you." With that I hung up the phone. I look up to my family and tell them the news, they are just as excited as I am. However, I can see in their eyes that they are sad because they just got their big brother back and now, I am leaving again. I reassure them that I am not going until I get the call from Commander Goose.

It has now been a week since I have been home, and I think the Commander knew I needed a little break from flying. He should have received the e-mail from the hospital giving me the all clear the same day I got the call or the next day. But sure enough, exactly a week after I got home; not a day sooner, I got the call from the Commander about my return to duty. I tell my family that I have a flight at dawn in four days' time.

As I thought, four days slipped through my fingers like sand, and I soon find myself saying goodbye to my family for six more months. Once I close the door to my car and start it, I wave back to them one more time than I am off. The dive to the airport is short so, within 20 minutes I get there and on my flight to fighter town USA.

As soon as I am on the carrier, there is a burst of applause and Commander Goose comes up to me. "Good have you back aboard, we've missed you, Captain." 

Wait. Did he just call me Captain? But I am a Lieutenant, not a Captain.

I respond with "Thank you Sir. But I'm not a Captain."

His reply was simply, "Well, Nicholas, you're a Captain now."

"Wow, thank you Sir!"

"My honour, Whiskey."

"WHIS-keeeey!!"  Here we go again.

"Hangman, how's it going?"

"Good. How are you, Captain?"

"Oh, you can stop with that right now Seresin."

"Yes, Sir."

"JAKE!!" With that, Jake and I break into fits of laughter. Once we finally calm down a bit, we do our handshake. That is when I finally realize that this is more than a job to me or a second family. It is either fly or die. Those are my only options, because flying is my whole life and family is my world.