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━━━ SEVENmotherly cuts
Despite the burning of firewhisky down her throat the previous night, Raya woke up early that morning.
The light through the windows was hazy, or maybe it was just her vision. It looked surreal, with a misty tint to it.
And for a moment, she didn't remember where she was and what had happened, and what she was seeing felt so familiar. This must be how she'd seen the world during childhood━everything was lovely, everything felt like a dream.
And then she thought of Sirius.
Her thoughts were still blurred from sleep, but she thought of the way he always had that easy smile that accentuated his dimples, and that flicker of light in his eyes in that passageway━or maybe it was just a reflection from the light from Lily's wand tip. And she thought of how his fingers, decorated with all those rings he wore, had brushed against hers when he'd handed her the change. She thought of how she'd almost gone to the Gryffindor's party.
He wanted her to be there. She'd never had that with someone.
And she would have gone.
She didn't know what made her change her mind. Maybe she didn't want him to know that she'd come because she owed him that after he'd helped her get those things from Zonko's for Aylin's costume. She never wanted to take anything for granted. Because in the back of her mind, she knew that anything she'd taken for granted was always thrown back at her. Her mother loved throwing her love back at her whenever she felt like her daughter was growing ungrateful, and that razor-edged point never missed. No, Raya didn't like taking anything for granted━but she couldn't stomach being in a room full of strangers, especially when one of them wanted her there. No, she didn't know how to stomach feeling wanted.
And she couldn't stomach that Sirius wanted her to come to the party.
The Halloween party that the Slytherins had thrown was loud. But the thing about loud places is that she could disappear in the noise.
Victoria was on her four-poster, still wearing her black Mary Janes and stockings. She hadn't woken up, and Raya didn't expect her to. Vic had taken an entire bottle of Blishen's Firewhisky from Mulciber, and he'd only let it slide because she was a pureblood.
Slowly, she came back to her surroundings. The hangover was a dull ache against her temples.
She had to find Aylin once she start feeling like herself again, like her legs weren't a dragging weight behind her (she wondered if she'd ever stop feeling this way).
