"Life is a road full of unexpected turns, Sweets. Ain't gonna matter how hard you study the map. If it catches ya without yer hands on the wheel, best be prepared to ride it out in the ditch."
I could still hear the raspy tone that spoke those words to me in my head. Mr. Solinger was the closest thing I ever had to a grandfather. And regardless of his cantankerous nature and too blunt words, he was probably the most stable adult figure I had in my life growing up.
I was six the first time we had a run in. His stark white goatee was a striking contrast against his wrinkled caramel skin. I couldn't pull my eyes away from it as he stood in front of me, wooden walking cane swinging, as he ranted away about something the neighborhood kids had done. I hadn't contributed to the mess but I offered to help clean it up anyways, a fact I'm sure he knew.
"Ain't real smart to get in the habit of cleaning up everyone else's messes girl."
At that point I hadn't earned the nickname Sweets yet. Mr. Solinger took a bit to warm up to people, me included.
"Course you're too young to know all that yet I suppose. Though by the looks at it you'll learned sooner than most," he said as he gestured toward my house as my mama slammed the door on her way out.
She did that a lot. Left. Sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for longer. Her and Daddy took their turns I guess. They had their limit on how much family life they could each handle.
I wish I could say all the advice imparted on me all those years had sunk in but the curve I had drove off of was one I saw coming since the day I met Todd Barkley. Mr. Solinger had me pegged right from the first day he met me. I had a habit of trying to clean up messes that weren't mine, to fix things and make them right regardless of my own needs.
It wasn't just a habit though. At this point, it was a full-fledged addiction.
Addiction.
The poison that ruined so many things in my life.
It may not have been the heroin that finally won my mother when I was 14 or the alcohol my father had been stuck to since the day I was born, but it was an addiction all the same. No physical effects but mentally it still had to power to wreak havoc through my veins.
That realization is what brought me to where I was today.
Clawing my way out of the bottomless pit I found myself in.
But I refused to ride it out in the ditches anymore.
It was time I called a tow-truck.
