Rosella 💎

STAY EASY🌌

Mom was not having it simple  since she noticed the person that called me almost every night was Bina. I was not having it too because I desired to be happy too. I never thought I'd fall in love with Bina in anyway even thought I was not sure of what Bina wanted. I needed her to clearly understand that I was not a toddler anymore. Even if she wanted to be protective of me it was too late. Honestly, I was not even near my paradise. I had too many limitations. I needed peace but she never noticed. I was at war with myself since the day she decided to leave me alone at home as a teenager with no guardian. My life had no guidelines. I've never been happy with her but she never notices. Aside blood, we shared nothing in common. I did not feel safe even telling her my secrets even as she birthed me.
Most times, she acted like she had a beef with Bina. On two occasions she seized my phone and asked me never to speak to him again. I really wish I could tell her it was to late because my prime left the day I let a stranger into her house and had a horizontal refreshment. If I were God I'd never forgive Rose for that because I cannot even forgive myself.
Bina became my mom's worse nightmare. Most times I wondered why she hated a person she has never seen so much.
"Hey, don't ever call my daughter again" she yelled at Bina as she seized my phone from me that evening. I was lying down on the bed when she entered the room to pick up a pen on the table.
I became concerned because I could not do anything; I had no friend. She stopped letting me go out. Not even to buy groceries. Most times she preferred going to get them. I prayed so hard for time to move faster so I will go to the University but it was more like the days got slower.
Several times I sat down to think of how mean she became. I won't blame her, myself or even Bina. I still did not know who to blame for all this.
Most times she'd just walk out angrily and not come for the next twenty to thirty minutes. She stopped telling me where she was going. My own mother became so mean towards me. In every mistake I made Bina was to be mentioned. I still wonder why she never even asked a single question of what connection I had with him she just kept assuming we were up to something. I never feared her but I just kept acting cool because I did not want to flame up.
From time to time, I'd write in my diary. I still kept painting and drawing in cardboard papers. I loved myself but I did not love where I was. The angrier she became the sadder I got but I never tried to show. The house became a tussle for us both. We stopped smiling at each other often and stopped disgusting even about the most minor topics everything got weird between us to the extent my mom seized my phone and stopped me from going out.
Aunty Chioma's role in all this was what I couldn't understand because she always teased me with Bina's name. I couldn't fathom what was going on now. I was very optimistic they must have talked about Bina even before my mom got back. What was going on exactly? I never felt any attraction for Bina. Only if my mom would let me talk and listen to me now. I was aware of my thoughts and how I felt but I was not even allowed to speak talk more of being listened to.