𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, Miguel Diaz

S03:E01

•~3rd person P.O.V~•
By now, Rachel practically lived at the hospital. She slept there, she woke up there, she ate there (most times), she watched TV there, did school work there, read books there, cried there, and comforted Carmen and Miguel's Ya-Ya there. The only thing she didn't do there was shower.

Her schedule had been the same for almost two weeks now. Wake up, come home, shower, get dressed, sometimes do makeup, do her hair, get food on the way to the hospital, get to the hospital, do school work, and when finished do whatever to fill the other hours of the day, then go to sleep, and then repeat. She'd been suspended for a month, not that she cared because she didn't wanna go anyways.

She heard it was everyone else's first day back at school, she made Hawk promise to stay out of trouble and to stop beating on Demetri while at school. Rachel knew that Tory had been expelled and was on probation. Tory said the only reason she wasn't in jail, was because she was her mother and her brother's caretaker.

Robby was still on the run, but Rachel didn't care. She didn't want to look for him, if he wanted a life on the run then he could have that, but Rachel wasn't going to waste her time thinking about him. She didn't want to kill him anymore, so that was progress, but she still didn't wanna see him. She was afraid that when Miguel woke up, he wouldn't wanna see her, since Robby was her brother and all.

However, all the other progress Rachel had made seemed to have gone down the drain. She didn't have time to take her medication and she wasn't allowed on school grounds, so she couldn't see Ms. Sandra. She didn't have much energy to get angry anyways, and no one really made her angry here. She did feel depressed, but she didn't wanna die as she had before. She wanted to be there to see Miguel wake up.

"I...I suck at saying words, I can't string together a sentimental sentence." Rachel sighed as she sat in her usual seat. It was the longest seat in the room, backed up against a wall right next to Miguel. She had him in her sights at all times, so if something went wrong she'd be able to see it, and if he woke up she'd see it as well. "But, I wanna tell him stuff, especially if he can hear me." Carmen nodded and stroked Rachel's hair. She'd learned a lot about Rachel, and she felt terrible for the girl.

"Why don't you write him a letter? When he wakes up he can read it." Carmen looked at the girl sympathetically. She remembered the first time she saw Rachel, and how hard it was to see how she felt. She wasn't easily readable. But now, Carmen could see every emotion that swirled in her ice-cold eyes. Sadness, shame, regret, anger, and despair. It was as if they pulled back a layer of skin and could see everything underneath.

"Okay." Carmen stood, grabbed her bag, and went to work. Ya-Ya typically stayed with Rachel at the hospital, other times she went shopping or "window" shopping to get her mind off of Miguel. Rachel pulled out a piece of paper, and then another, and then another. Just in case she wrote more than she thought she would. She didn't know how to start it, but then she realized that this was sort of like a diary. You don't think about it, you just write.

Dear Miguel (sorry if that sounds cheesy),

I suck at saying words, so your mom said I should write this letter for when you woke up. So, here I am. In a hospital room, right next to you, writing to you. Seems a little counterproductive but I have to let you know these things. I'll be here when you wake up, and it may confuse you a bit since I told you a million times that I hated you. Well, first of all, I'm sorry for being an ass to you. If I were in your shoes, I would've punched me in the face so hard, but that's the good thing about you. You're different from everyone else. Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that I in fact do not hate you. I actually like you a whole lot, a lot more than I should, a lot more than a friend should. So, if I liked you that much, then why did I tell you I hated you? Great question, Miguel. I was jealous of you. You had a great mom, a great grandma, and most of all, you had my dad. My dad was being a father to you, but not to me, he was being the father I wanted to you. When I saw him give you his gi, the one I was forbidden to ever touch, I decided right then and there that I hated you. You know me when I set my mind to something I can make it happen. But, this time, it was a lot harder to convince myself that I hated you. It was easier to say, out loud, that I hated you but on the inside, I never really believed it. You were always so cute, so sweet, so funny, and so kind. You were perfect. It was almost hard for me to understand how someone as good as you was surviving in a shithole of a world as this one, but there you were. You were trying to be so nice to me, and sometimes I couldn't help but give in. I gave into your kindness and big brown eyes, and I know I made you confused when I would be nice one second and pissy the next second and I'm sorry for that. I love you Miggy, you're one of the only people who stuck by me even when I was a bitch to you. Even when I wanted to push you away, you were always there, ready to help me and comfort me. Elaine really loved you, she used to ask me when we would go over to your house and see you again, she asked me if you were my boyfriend, and when I said no she frowned. I know it's not my place to apologize, but I'm sorry for what Robby did. If he were here, he'd definitely apologize too. If I could've, I would've stopped the fight or gotten between you two but I couldn't, and I'm sorry for that. Also, I wanna say I'm sorry for something else. Maybe if I had told you that Tory had seen you and Sam kiss then you could've predicted the fight. I don't know, I guess I forgot how upset she was about it. But, I guess, to sum up, this letter in a couple of words, I love you and I'm sorry.

~Rach S. Lawrence.

Ya-Ya brought Rachel an envelope, which Rachel slipped the three papers in, and then she wrote "Miggy, from Rach" in big black letters on the back of it. Ya-Ya told Rachel that she was going to the cafeteria, Rachel nodded and soon after went asleep.

She didn't see her dad walk into Miguel's hospital room. She didn't hear his little speech to Miguel. She didn't feel how he stroked her hair. She didn't hear how he apologized for leaving over and over. She didn't feel the kiss he pressed to her forehead and she didn't hear the "I love you too" that he whispered to her.

~

The next day, as Rachel came to the hospital with lunch, she saw that Miguel's door was closed, and inside were tons of doctors and nurses that pressed on his chest. She threw the bags in one of the outside seats as Carmen pulled Rachel to hear. Carmen hugged Rachel tightly as a couple of warm tears dropped on her chest, she made sure that Rachel's head was turned to the hallway and not to Miguel's room. She stayed that way until a doctor came outside.

"I have great news," the doctor paused, "he's awake." Rachel felt as if an ocean wave of relief washed over her, her shoulders lowered as a sob flushed out of her eyes. She couldn't face him, not yet. She'd wait outside until his mom and Ya-Ya said she could come in. He's their family, they deserve to see him first.
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A/n: omg two chapters in one day?! also, I can't wait for Miguel to read the letter🤭
Word Count:1,452