Dearest In The Forest

Chapter 1

I fell to my knees.

My life was shattered before my very eyes and I was forced to watch it. My parents were mercilessly murdered in cold blood on one fateful evening. I was all alone in a world of anger and depression. The heavens opened up to me as I screamed to the sky, being for some form of comfort in my heart or what was left of it. The rain pattered on my face as they laughed and mocked me through the split sky. Not even the gods showed any mind to my suffering and no matter how hard I begged and prayed for a glimpse of comfort, I was shunned away and ignored.

Whenever I eventually returned to school, I was the target of all bullying and abuse for my classmates. Due to this, I would constantly seek shelter in any empty toilet cubicle, classroom or. cupboard. I would just hope that no one would be able to find me as that would just lead to more abuse. Children are horrible and ruthless, I am being bullied for the fact that my parents died and I have no home anymore. I would never make fun of someone due to the situation of their home life because most of the time it's not their fault.

I would run "home" after school, as soon as the bell rang to signify the end of the day. As I would enter the care home I lived in, I would avoid everyone and immediately sprint to my room and lock myself in there to cry and cry.  Tears would stream down my face in waves like a tsunami with no intention of stopping. The only time I would open the door was to grab my dinner that was brought to my room by the caregivers. Tonight, fish fingers and chips.

They reminded me of my childhood, living out all my days outside playing in the fields that surrounded our little, homely cottage. My father would have to practically chase me in to have dinner every night and when my mother would come home from her job in the city, she would always make fish finger sandwiches and we would wrap them up and make a wee picnic outside to stargaze. She could go on and on about the different constellations and planets around the earth. She would point up at the sky and make figures and shapes with the glistening stars.

She aspired to be an astronaut but sadly she lacked the money to get a degree or job along the lines of that. So instead she worked as a nurse in the big city where lights lit up the night and people swarmed the streets. I preferred the sweet little cottage we lived in but my new house was located in the city, beside the school to reduce travel fees so I never saw fields or bees or nature blooming around me. Only cement and cigarette butts from the girl two rooms over.

The girls in the care house never cared to learn or interact with me as I "accidentally" forced one of them to share as I "accidentally" locked her out of our room too many times. They didn't know me but I knew all about them. Alyssa from two rooms down was addicted to cigarettes and forced her boyfriend Darys to steal them to give to her. Darys was 16 and Alyssa was 14 so very weird relationship. Angela was my neighbor and was 12, her parents had a messy divorce which ended her up here. Michael was a crack baby, his dad was addicted and his mum was out of the picture, he was about 17 and was due to leave in two months. He was the kindest and offered me sweets and small smiles from across the room. Rachel was in the same room as Angela and she was 15, she dressed alternatively and was super chill about rules and stuff so she never snitched no matter who you were. And lastly, Carlos was downstairs and right beside the kitchen. He was quiet and moody but would sneak your snacks if you wanted him to. He had been there the longest, 6-16, and was the caregiver's favorite. I didn't know his backstory on why he was here but I knew it was bad if no one spoke of it.

That night I opened my window and breathed in the cold, night air. The soft smell of cigarettes and rain entered my nostrils. Sometimes I wonder if it's better if I just weren't around anymore because I wasn't needed here since they died. My red, puffy eyes met the mirror where a photo of my parents on their first date was placed. Forks, Washington was written on the back along with "With My Heart, You Will Follow And My Mind Shall Forever Be Yours, My Love," with a kiss and a "Your Darling, Garrett Wilson." My dear old dad was such a poet even back then.

I take one last longing look at the photo before making a plan.