Now or Never

“Mr.Ratliff?”

This is it, I thought. I took a deep breath and slowly got to my feet. I grabbed my guitar case and looked up at the person who had called my name. He was an older man, lines of wisdom etched into his mature face. He had dark brown hair shaped in a mohawk and a beard. He was a bigger man, not really overweight just big in general. The man looked me over once before turning around and motioning for me to follow him. I fell into step behind him, taking a deep breath every few seconds trying to calm myself. I play guitar all the time, I have no reason to be nervous. I am good at what I do and it is my passion. The man opened a door and held it for me, “Thank you.” I mumbled. He shut the door behind himself and I looked at the only other person in the room. The first thing I noticed was his brilliant, but kind, smile. He had raven black hair that fell around his face in every which way. It was kind of adorable. I looked down to avoid the blush on my face being noticed. I heard a chair being pulled out and looked back up. “You can have a seat..” The guy who brought me in trailed off, “Tommy or Tommy Joe.” The gruff man smiled, “It’s nice to meet you. My name is Monte.” I walked to the table and shook his hand before turning to the other man. He smiled yet again, “I’m Adam, Adam Lambert.” I smiled back. “So you’re the mysterious singer I’m auditioning for?” Adam chuckled, “That’s me.” I went and sat on the stool and pulled out my guitar. Once I was ready I looked back up at Monte and Adam. “Whenever you’re ready.” I nodded to Adam and began playing. I know I got lost in the music because it was over pretty quickly. I looked from Monte to Adam as they leaned in and had a conversation. Monte finally pulled away, “So Tommy, do you play bass?” I was a little surprised. “Umm, a little bit but I’m better at guitar.” Monte and Adam exchanged a look that I could not read, “Do you mind playing bass for us?” I shrugged, “I don’t have one with me.” Monte smiled, knowingly, “That’s alright. I have one.” I watched him walk out of the room and then returned with a bass. He handed it to me and nodded for me to start playing. I did the best I could; it had been awhile since I had last played. I looked up when I was finished and both Monte and Adam were smiling. “Here’s the problem,” my stomach clenched, “Monte here is already my guitar player but we are in need of a bass player. Would you like the job?” My jaw dropped, “Of course I want the job!” Adam smiled like I had just made his day and stood up. He and Monte both shook my hand and gave me their numbers, promising to be in touch the next day. I was so happy, I got my dream job.

1 year later…

          I rolled over and smiled. I have not had that dream in a while. I still consider it one of the best days of my life. I rubbed my eyes before slowly opening them. That was the best I have slept in quite some time. I yawned and stretched out before sitting up. I grabbed my phone and checked the time, noon, not too bad. I stood up and stretched a little again. I put my phone down and started to walk away but my phone rang. I checked the I.D. and bit my bottom lip when I saw it was Adam. I shook my head; I’m just sleepy, nothing more. “Hello?” I heard a huff on the other end. “Finally!” I chuckled, “What?” I swear I could hear him go all mother hen, “It’s noon Tommy Joe! That’s what! I’ve been trying to reach you for two hours!” I laughed, “Aww I’m sorry Adam. I was just sleeping really deeply. It was the best I’ve slept in a long time.” His voice immediately softened at that. I knew he worried a lot about my insomnia so it was expected that he would get over his anger pretty quickly. “That’s great. I’m glad you got some sleep.” I smiled, “So what’s so important you’ve been trying to wake me up for two hours?” I asked as I shuffled toward the kitchen to make coffee. “Are you in the kitchen?” My eyebrows shot up, “Yes?” I heard a laugh on the other end of the phone but I also heard it on the other side of the door. I hung up the phone and ran to the door. I threw it open and saw Adam in all his “adamness” standing there looking fierce as ever. “I never said I had been calling for the past two hours.” I rolled my eyes but jumped into his arms the moment he opened them as an invitation. He held me close then picked me up, still in his embrace. I squeaked, and to my death I will defy that it was unmanly. He kicked the door shut behind him and sat down on the couch, giving me no choice but to settle in his lap. I had absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I cuddled into his chest as he pet my hair. “You act like you haven’t seen me in forever.” I felt him smile into my hair, “Nope, just a couple weeks but it felt longer.” I could not deny the blush that spread across my face and neck or the warmth in my stomach when he said things like that. I could tell myself I only saw him as my best friend all day every day but that did not change that I loved him more than that. I couldn’t help it, trust me, I had tried, but there was no getting over the love I felt for him. Right after the audition we had become close. We were best friends in an instant and I was in love just minutes later. How could I not fall? I mean Adam was beautiful, talented, loving, and kind. I hugged him a little tighter for a second before letting go and looking up at him. He just smiled a big lopsided grin that I couldn’t help but return. “You never told me why you were here.” He chuckled, “I know. Go get dressed.” I looked at him skeptically then crossed my arms over my chest, “Not until I know why!” He smirked evilly, “I could make you get ready.” I smirked right back, “And how is that? Gonna strip me and then dress me again?” His face went serious for the briefest moment and I swear I saw heat flash through his eyes but it was gone before I could be sure. He pushed me down until I was lying face down on the couch, I put up a fight but it didn’t do much good. He sat pretty much straddled my ass and held my hands behind my back, “And what if I said yes?” I gulped, that seriousness was back and I wasn’t sure how to reply. I felt him lean down so I turned my head and looked at him. There was no denying it now, I saw the heat full blown in his eyes. I smirked, “I guess you’ll just have to find out.” In one graceful move he had turned me over underneath him and suddenly his lips were against mine. I easily melted into the kiss. His lips were so familiar to me yet there was always a new spark every time he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and the kiss deepened. As abruptly as he started the kiss he ended it. He was off me and half way to my bedroom before I had caught my breath. He turned around, his face flushed and pupils still wide, “I shouldn’t have done that.” I opened my mouth to tell him there was nothing to be sorry for but he held up his hand, “That was wrong and I don’t want you to tell me otherwise. I just, got caught in the moment I guess. I know you’re straight.” Ouch, that one hurt. He smiled sadly at me, “Come on, you have to get dressed and I’m picking your clothes!” He turned and walked to my room. What just happened? I sat up and took a deep breath. I don’t know how to make him understand. I mean yes I had just broken up with a girlfriend when I joined the band and I have never been with a man but I told him I hated labels. I’m just Tommy. I got up and walked to the room. Now was as good a time as any, “Adam?” He poked his head out of my closet, “Yes?” I took a deep, shaky breath. I looked at me, concern written all over his face. He wrapped me in a hug, “I’m so sorry Tommy.” I melted into the hug but that didn’t stop the confusion. “For what?” He loosened his grip a bit so he could look at me, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I know I shouldn’t have done that.” I felt like I had just kicked a puppy. “Adam, no.” He shook his head, “I know I’ve always pushed your boundaries a bit and I’m,” to hell with it. I surged up and captured his lips in a kiss. I felt him freeze but I didn’t stop. I had to get my message across this time. No more waiting for a miracle. I moved forward so my body was pressed up against his. He slowly started kissing me back. I granted him entrance the moment his tongue swept across my bottom lip. After kissing for a few minutes I pulled away but kept him close. “Don’t be sorry Adam. I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for so long.” He looked down at me, “But you’re straight Tommy.” I looked at him, “I told you I hate labels and I’ve never been attracted to a man before.” He shook his head, “So I’m an experiment.” He pulled away and I about blew. I pushed him onto the bed and sat on top of him. “Tommy!” I grabbed his hands and held them above his head. “Dammit Adam, just listen to me!” His eyes went wide but he shut his mouth. “You aren’t an experiment. It’s not like that. I,” I felt my cheeks flush. I let go of his hands and hid behind the fringe of my hair, “I love you Adam.” I whispered. I felt tears sting at my eyes but I didn’t want to cry. I felt his hand on my chin and opened my eyes as he lifted it up slowly so I met his gaze. A few tears escaped out of my eyes. Adam held my face so gently and wiped the rogue tears away. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” I looked at him more closely and noticed he had tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry Tommy. I didn’t mean to keep shutting you down. I just couldn’t handle rejection, not from you.” I rested my forehead against his before kissing him. It was soft and full of nothing but pure emotion. “I love you too Tommy.”