SILENCE! [OLD VERSION]

🤐 FIVE 🤐

I ignored mom's questions during breakfast and dad's lustful gaze on me.

Getting to school, I went straight to class since I missed yesterday's lesson.

I had to make up for it if I want to go to college.

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I still feel the pain in between my legs whenever I spread them.

And now in P. E, I find out I'm moving at a snail's pace.

I'm still struggling to catch up when the bell rings.

Mr Jones, our P. E teacher asks if I'm alright and I tell what I told other teachers today when they asked the same thing.

I told him I'm fine...

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I ate mom's wonderful lunch and went upstairs to get my assignments done before leaving for dinner.

Dinner was disgusting.

Jackie had a problem identifying sugar and salt and ended up mixing them up.

I went straight to my room afterwards and plopped down on the mattress finishing up with my assignment.

A knock sounded on my door and I went to open the door only to find dad.

And a repeat of yesterday was all It took to have me in tears again...

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Dad has been raping me for a month and two weeks now.

I've gotten pregnant and aborted four times.

Apparently, dad doesn't know how to check an expiry date and that's how he ended up using expired condoms.

The expressions I get from the nurse varies from pity to disgust to pity again.

And I learnt the hard way how to brush them away.

I remember the first time I found out I was pregnant.

I was excited and scared at the same time.

I told dad and well he gave me some money 'to get rid of it'.

It's times like this I need friends but when you have none, you stick with imaginary friends and that's how I'm surviving.

"Jocie time for dinner"

God help my soul.

I hope Jackie didn't mix up flour and caustic soda.

I don't want to die yet.

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Once we were done with dinner, Mom and dad had something to announce.

They were travelling to Paris for a whole month.

I was ecstatic.

So when dad came that night, for the first time I gave into him knowing that this was the last time.

Next month I'll be done with my final exams and then be on my way to Boston where I'll live.

No more dad.

Just me and my future and hanging onto that hope thread, dad came inside of me.

Hopefully for the last time.

A/N: This book is drawing to an end slowly and painfully.